Updated October 27th, 1998.

I've not been refused.

the messages I've sent

have not been returned

nor has the moon turned

its white face away.

and yet, somehow,

I am still alone,

this autumn.


here Goes My Baby

All bright eyed and excited

Looking for that "great adventure"

Go my child

Run and play

Conquer the unknown

Explore every door

Discover the cultures

Taste the knowledge

Survey the lands

Meet the people

Your world is a gift!

Open your mind

Listen, hear and feel

Learn and care

Cry, laugh, and most of all love

Lose and win we all do

Then come home and share all that you have learned

We'll be here waiting for you.


Autumn whispers her lullaby to me -

It whistles through the empty branches

And babbles along a silvery brook,

As if to sing the spring to rest

As if she carries the dying summer

Atop her wishful wings

And lays him down beneath the mountains

To sleep in his frozen grave.


I dreamt I died,

and to heaven did go,

"Where do you come from",

They wanted to know...

"I come from Peckham !"

my how they did stare,

"Come right on up,

Your the first one from there !"


Your soul


while mine is simply the same

half always

of the whole that we are now

The soul


but can not be gone alone


only with yours together

Your kiss


you tangible on my lips

breaks me now

but draws me in a blanket

The kiss


a full goodbye from a ghost

to one gone

from the light of beauty lost

My Point Of View

There calling me one by one.

Each trying to drag me away

from the plan God has for me.

It is so hard to resist them.

Why is it wrong to give in?

Why do they keep tempting me?

Why me, Why call me?

God's strength it seems miles away

I'll be on a high then backslide the next day.

It's hard to practice self control,

my ungodly life is on a roll.

The friends that support, the hands outstretched.

God's in control, God will bring me back.



You are the One.

You are the child.

You are the gift that stops our trials.

You put your life upon a cross.

It's because of you,

that man has no loss.



There's many different types of smiles,

It's very strange to see.

There's smiles that come right from

the heart as happy as can be.

Then there's smiles from the eyes

that twinkle and shine all day.

But unfortunately there is some smiles

that quickly fade away.


The Loss Of Love

To Lose the sound of love

To miss the feeling of its touch.

To taste the bitterness that once was sweet.

To erase the aroma that captivated our meet.

To look and see that our gaze is not one.

It's this terrible when one becomes none.


When you are feeling sad and lonely

or feel'n blue or gray

When the sky clouds over you

When the world seems to drag on and never end

you remines about the good old days.

by Amanda Gosnell



The Hedonist

rallies his world-

his creation, his kissed

insignificant furled

canvas of his own duress.

A race is not pandemic!

The power to mess

and to stop the tick

is no excuse

to allow this muss.


after your death

the atmosphere has potential

to be a million different things.

so why tonight, when

I'm standing in my yard

with your ghost and careless

cigarette butts, does it

choose cold rain and hollow wind?


your visit and subsequent departure


I closed my gray-paint rented gate

in hopes of keeping you out. you

stood there,

looking in.


Jesus Christ, the ruler of all the land you see,

he is the king of kings,

& the Victor of a War to be.

He is coming again in great glory,

with power, & with might

and is going to open the door,

so we can have perfect sight.

The light of all the ages

is all that you will see,

and time will be no factor,

for you have Eternity.


play is easy

dream bare beneath rain

he need lick my delicious

skin cool after sleep

under boy girl sweat beauty

her whispers like music


I am a teardrop...

A tear drop from someone sad,

The sorrow that they suffer is expressed through mourning,

Mourning that can't be described to someone who hasn't experienced it,

But yet one teardrop like me can express all of the sadness,

That overcomes ones soul or mind.

I slowly descend into the unknown and I dissolve and vanish Forever.



Love is what life is all about,

But when you break up,

You can't help but pout.

Love makes your head spin round and round,

It's so sensational,

Your heart begins to pound.

Love, Love, that's all it is,

All you can think about is: Your heart belongs to his.


Strong winds may blow,

And rain may come.

Clouds will cover, yet I will know...

All will be fine in the new day.

In the new day dawn will come,

and night will go.

The sun will rise up high,

And that is how i know...

All will be fine in the new day.


I sit here waiting

For the thoughts to come...

But they won't

They come, but are disoriented

Too confused to take flight

So my pen sits waiting

Bored out of its mind

while MY mind, still racing

Tries to find,

the words to say

I'm lonely.



How it is

So this is how it is...

Life of the bitch

the late nights

the shitty morns

and the wandering of the halls

the sweaty palms

and the glazed eyes

the hoarse voice

and the chewed nails

life of the bitch




Just Another Poem......

Slowly sifting sands

Gently sweep across your face

You are my everlasting wondrous grace

Ever changing in the singular most happy mood that you possess

I sit and slowly twist and turn to your gentle loving caress

All the love you give; never having excess

I live for you

I'd die for you

And I know that you'd do the same thing to.

Just for me that's what you are....

my slowly fading distant star.

By: Latte


Centuries Out Of Time

For I am a Poet/Warrior, born centuries out of time.

I seek truth and honesty, and a love, so sublime.

But these are ideals of a time long, long past,

when promises were kept, and love, a lifetime did last.

The Warrior now reaps ridicule, the Poet only jeers,

for the defender, no honor, for the romantic, only tears.




Love is not always a blissful journey.

As love is a great deal of attraction,

So is it a vengeance of repulsion.

The invisibility magnetizes,

A soul connection beyond the heavens,

Sacred to those who share in the love.

Love conquers, enraptures and quivers.

It chokes, squeezes and strains.

Love is not always a blissful journey.


My beating heart consumes the silence

Unimaginable as it may be

The darkness absorbs the light

My eyes are closed to my surroundings

Not being able to fathom

What my eyes have seen

What my fingers have touched

What my heart has felt

I have yet to know

What my heart can take

The fear of the inconceivable



"LIVE THROUGH THIS..!", she said.

(shaking the bitterness from her head)

the bitter fell..

like sad glitter-

which lay all about her now.

her smile seemed ridiculous..

as she swept up the mess with a

crumpled tissue..


Living Dead

Silent Screams

Amongst the rows

Of the Living Dead

Yearning to Escape

The Clock chimes twelve

The hour of witches

Silent Screams

Amongst the living

Terror strikes the eyes of many

The time has come for man to end

And leave alone the living dead


There's always a vacancy at the krishnamurti dude ranch...

Some smirk at that look they call "vacant"

taunting "porch light's on but nobody's home"

as if it were so audaciously mad for me to be outside myself

beside myself

beyond myself

so purely thoughtless

gleefully beelining

underover giggle rippling

feeling viscerally

every hot mote of sun dust's shadow play

and latesummer breeze tickling

a pennywhistle reel's sweet

wild conjure to the dance.


Love is like a maze

Always going in circles

Never knowing when it will end

Always hoping it will stay within.


Love at first sight

Brought together by fate

Something so strong

It can't be broke with hate

Together we have happiness

Together we have strength

To tear down these walls

A new world we will Create.


















Power to control life itself

Force to push the world

Commanding the masses

Determining their minds

To touch the stars

And scream to the sun

Strength to right the wrong

And destroy despair

Such Power

In a single mind, that knows not.


lifetimes of dreaming;

dreaming of life

walking in fantasies,

while love passes by.

my head's in the clouds,

my feet on the ground;

watching you from behind the glass

barely making a sound,

you never notice

you never care

you never realize

that i'm standing here.

you just walk on by

you can't see

that there's no person

who could love you

like me.



A vision of you and her appears in my mind.

That is the arrow in my heart,

the bullet in my soul.

It's only a vision

but I can see it's keeping us apart.

You don't realize that you're killing me softly

every time I see you with her.

Both of you happy, flying

Me over here, inside dying.


Haiku #1

On a large ice pond

Alone, an old man fishes

Sounds of snow falling


Haiku #2

Yellowed mint leaves bow

Dried beneath an August sun

Waves crash, sea gulls cry



When the only human dies,

And ascends up to her laughter.

When no more doves can fly,

In an empty churches rafters.

The trees will bend their limbs so green,

Rest ye weary leaves.

Dream of time in heaven,

And views that hold the sea.

When stars are gone away,

And clouds turn into dreams.

You think this is the end

For nothings what it seems.

A happy world gone.

The faceless angel cries.

As her tears hit the earth,

The wind finally dies.


in our dreams we are suicide machines

living our life as though we were dead


Silver-gray lines on moonlit oceans,

Remind me of eyes I know.

Reflections of a warm and welcoming face,

Simply too far away for me to reach.



under you i fly

soar like an eagle

i forget my worries

and all my fears

and concentrate on the three of us:

you, me, & love

your eyes are closed you must be thinking about us too


am i dreaming?

this is too beautiful to be real


then we're separate, no longer one

and i lay my head on your chest

and plan the rest of our lives together

by: miche'le (sounds really romantic huh? well, he left me after i gave it

up to him.)


Dancing with you,

on the edge of existence,

our hearts beat,

to a melody sung,

by our love.

Reg Dyke


She feels the pain i hide inside

She feels me

I know she understands in her far away land

She knows me

I talk to her within myself

She hears me

The silence says all we need to know

I love her.



You are the shine in my sunshine

the face upon a midnight moon

the glimmer in my eyes

and the warmth of my heart.

You are

a glowing candle that lights my way

and the wind that touches me with whispers of longing

the snow flakes that kiss my face

You are

the dancing ocean waves

and the star's twilight gaze

You are the sweet taste of this life's wine.


Love Enters you

Am I the only whose true love is strong

I've had that feeling all along.

Then enter you

And my feelings flew.

I tried to say it

To convey it

But Your friends kept you from me,

That I could see

So I stayed away.

You deserve some who will save

And not make you a slave

I'd take that promise to the grave.

You've seen into my eyes

Now tell me no lies,

Just tell me what to do

Next time love

Enters you.

-Justin Christopher Davis


Pure Gray Agenda

I pull the trigger of my suicide spasm,

Closing my throat and pushing the truth,

Mind my strings and portray the nightmare

The same clip reverses forward

I hesitantly dismiss my pictured nerves

And portray my notes of an awesome truth.

I wait for prompt justice,

for materialistic noneness

and spiritual flight.




A fight with a friend

How bad it can be

The anger prolonging all the time

But somehow or another

Maybe the light we'll see


Come to me my sweet.

Feel my face with passion.

Feel the horror of yesterday.

and the anticipation of tomorrow.

Come where none have gone;

To the darkness of my life,

and shine your sparkling eyes

to light the night of my heart.



I'm so ugly

that's okay

I never liked me


I'm so pretty

that's okay

I don't like you


I'm so deadly

never sane

I want to hurt you

But that's okay

I'm so helpless

It's not safe

but I'm a liar

I've never changed




Don't get mad at me

I never promised anything of mine to you

I never vowed my love or even my thoughts

To you

So don't act like I'm breaking something binding

When I'm not

You say you know how to respect me

But respect is not what I'm getting from you

So you have no right to act like I'm doing something wrong

Besides, we never had anything anyway

~for DH


Stress can kill-

In the blink of an eye.

So a person must have will-

To be able to survive.

Living is no longer-

As easy as past.

Try it some time, brother-

And see if you can last.

Be a friend and help me care-

Please show me no grief.

For there is too much to bear-

Each day when I kick back in disbelief.


In the vast darkness

Of immortality- I sit and caress

The wounds of yesterday

And wait for even more today

Although the foolish boy tries to hide

You cannot hide from your shadow-abide-

By the forces or nature

As they shall stay with you, stronger,

Until those days long after


Cheese can be as a rock-

If it's left out of the fridge for too long.

So can my kidneys-

As long as you are gone.

Alas it's time for mass.

I will have to pass.

I sit here at this incomparable computer

and think...



A great owl screams into the night

Cutting the dark with screeching pain.

A lone wolf, gray under the moon,

Wanders hazily with its wax and wane.

A beautiful bird in the jaws of plight,

Dying in the blood-red rain.


I'm the one who loves him

I'm the one who cares

I'm the one who kisses him

And attracts all of his stares

I'm the one who holds him

I'm the one he hugs

I'm the one he cares for


What is she that i am not?

What does she have that I haven't got?

She holds his heart so tightly in her hand

This is one thing that i will not stand

Now I'm the one left crying

I'm the one who's hurt

I'm the one who's heart

has been thrown in the dirt!



When I am away,

And apart from you,

I pray for the day,

That my dreams will come true,

When your in my heart,

But you're still my friend,

And our relationship,

Will have no end,

But how can it be,

When I'm am like your brother,

Even though you love me,

Like no other,

But still I'll care,

So when you need me,

I'll always be there.


E tsang Saechao


She is the light of blissful grace

that shines in golden gleams of eyes

and haunts a soul in an embrace

of beauties splendor and its ties


night essence

this country of sleep

you call dreams

there are others

who live there

able to give abilities


the mind sees red shifted

the traveler



The Lily stands alone

in an immense green


Its battle wounds are

scars now, the Lily's

nearly healed.

Its petals are white

again, but were once

stained with tears.

Yes! shouts the Lily

for it has overcome

its fears.

The Lily is happy now

as it stands proudly in

the Sun.

For now nothing holds

it back, the Lily's

journey has begun.


I am so cold

Pale and dying

There is no more

Everyone has a piece of me now

There's nothing left to sell

I've sold myself

Now there's none left

How much of me do you really need

Just dig in the dirt and maybe you'll find me

Somewhere down here

Alone and withering

Like the rose you gave to me

But I sold it with the rest

And I drank your poison

The poison you gave to me

Now drink this poison

And maybe you'll know how it feels


he walks alone in all of himself,

wondering which way to go.

not knowing anyone else,

but he, alone in his self.

talking to nobody,

just minding his own,

on his way to somewhere,

into the great unknown.

this man is he, himself, and I.


Annie Stick

On a trip to the wilderness

there's a cliff over

looking red creek canyon,

in climbing down and

looking around

I found a stick on

it words were carved

which read,

"Annie's stick

don't touch

that means you"

so I waited and waited

but you never did show

anyhow, Annie if you

ever read or hear this verse

I still have your stick

J Gatski


(by permission of the poet)


No One Here

She Left

I wept

I felt a need to disappear

Everyone surrounds me

But there's no one here

One My own

Spread my wings

Let my light be shown

I've left it all behind

I fear

And there's no one here

Death unfolds

While listening to stories

That have yet to be told

Without a fight

I go to the light

Everythings far

Everythings Near

And there's still no one here




why did it take u seven times

to deny what you felt

told me told me told me

i was the one


i ate all you gave me

took it for what you said it was

said it would make me grow

with you


Peace beneath the withered tree

I know the place, and it knows me

True the branches shelter less

From the sun, and wind's caress

Than a tree with branches long

Straight and green, supple, strong

But beneath the tree I feel free

I know the place, and it knows me



to chase my muse,

to catch her

to hold on with all the strength my soul will surrender.

but I am lazy,


left only with a coffee stained desk,

and a bent paperclip that cleaned my fingernails.




here i sit

unable to play

sorry son

it wasn't suppose to be this way

i was suppose to be able

to get up and play

but instead

i have to sit in my chair all day

i know you don't understand

and you seem not to care

that i can't get up and play

it seems not to bother you that i'm in a chair

i only hope deep down inside

that i can provide for you

an enjoyable life

and luck in all you do

Eric W Rudd



Opposite Lover

We are parallel,

holding hands with sex

and engraved, opposites,


I want to unlearn you

from the cells, atoms, nucleus,

skin, organ, sixth sense.

From opposites without logic

and unlearn, nonsense.

Loving you, never the less.


Fly Away

Fly away bird of the prairie!

Fly away and be free!

Fly away to another place,

Away from the hunting men,

Before they shoot you down,

And end your flight,

And your glorious life.


Tried to reach "Ann's corner"

For over an hour today

Seems you can't get to it

I even tried to pay

I like the poems and want to see

if anything is new

But technology won out again

She won't talk to you

I push the buttons in an out

but still I can't click on

My eyes are tired, my body weak

I'll try again at dawn


"Slithering Sounds"
by: Ellen Lucille Jennings

Your eyes I can see straight through

Right to the center of your soul

I can see the truth you hide

No angels wings you have

What you say sounds so sweet

Your slithering words are so sly

But my horns are much mightier

You got what you want or did you

I succeeded with my ways

My words caress the soul you have

While they bite your heart in two



Desolate hate

Wanton fear

Hatred of another transcends

the Attraction

To your smile.











i held her, warm and sleeping,

brushed the hair back from her eye

i gently kissed her peaceful face,

just to make her smile..

"this is good!" i think to myself,

"it really must be a dream!"

to be seeing this earth-bound angel

sleeping in my arms...............peacefully

lee-thomas mason



Rain falls from the sky

I think of it as the angels who cry

Crying for those who they watch over

The ones who make mistakes over and over

But that's life one said to me

Just you wait and see

And I went through life realizing that's true

Now I'm watching over you.



The stars will shine bright for my entire life, But my heart will go dull after so many falls

Life can be simple, Life can hard If you look deep down you can see my scars.

One time is all it takes for my sun to go down and your moon to be late.

So remember one day it will all end Be strong and eventfully your scars will mend


sanfrancisco such a place

goldengates hide her face

other sites pack'em in

goldengates bring'em back again


Walls of Plenty

wall'em in or out the many

matters not I play the ante


I eat cement

breath her fumes which I vent

no escape when all is spent


steel intertwined

you get yours I'll get mine


staying steels the spine

staying steels the spine.


~`~Sadly Speaking~`~

I'll never see him again

But in my memory will remain

the joys grin we did exchange

Like a horses main passing through

The wind and rain.

With out boundaries or limitations

My heart was filled with


For it he knew my heart would mend

and that i will never see him again. :-)


Cobble Stones

Moving on the cobble stones

shakes us like the earth,

and as we shudder on the road

we quake for all we're worth.

The rounded rock that lies there

will and always be,

a disturbance to the talkers,

of you and me.

And usually against our will

we walk those stones,

my hand in yours, yours in mine;

coupled alone.

But if our hands are solid,

I know we'll reach the end,

and we'll do no more talking,

'till it's calm again.



they sway softly...capturing the air...

taking in all that hate brings

clouds turning a beautiful gray

let this be my home...

the streets empty, but still carry laughter

these are the days that nature deserves

a tear drop has been given to the stars

another mesmerizing glisten added to such virtue

suddenly, a noise...the world stops to hear the beating of my heart...



BY: AXE (Axeswill@aol.com)

Foresaken food doth I crave

My weary head weeps for winks lost

In midst of chilly air, hands of ice do tremble with interest of infatuation

Alas! If wanting not wanting bludgeons waves of want,

Shall the vehicle of my soul perish for the sake of seeing through a third?

Oh light!

Heated touch on my flesh

Tempt me not this hour

Or those to be born

Rather, vault me into the infinite

The seventh spinning wheel



Step in my steps,

See what I see,

Take my hand,

The world waits.

Taste what I taste,

Feel what I feel,

Share my mind,

The world waits.

Talk in my tongue,

Climb my mountain,

Swim in my sea,

The world waits.

Play with my children,

Tea with my elders,

Have all that is mine,

The world turns


My night was late, my morning was hard.

I was in a good mood but not any more.

Last weekend is still killing me.


Full moon

Through glass pane

All else is reflection from light inside.


Sunlight's fingertips reach down from the sky

and lightly, they pick up truth

and show it to God

who looks at it and remembers:

He has made imperfect people

who struggle to meet His perfect demands

and beg for His mercy as they

loot the shop windows of each others souls


This is the time of

unfinished poems of

hot love

of languid love

laying on the couch sunlight

dreaming through the windows this

is the time of reading Neruda of

looking into each others eyes in

her eyes I see love this

is the time of passion I

get lost in her and I

want to lay on

this couch barely touching in

the high heat of summer and

drift off thinking

of a poem that

will go unfinished


Either Way

Idolize or ignore me, it doesn't matter.

Praise or patronize me, it's meaningless chatter.

Compliment or curse me, you fuel my fire.

Befriend or berate me, I'm driven by either.

You can not win, I can not lose.

In the end I am victorious,

Only the means are yours to choose.


One Way
By Melissa Paradice

I wish you were near me

I wish that you would hold me

I wish that I were with you again

I remember what it felt like

to be in your arms.

I wish things hadn't changed

I want it to be the same

As it was,

When you loved me too,

And it wasn't just me,

Loving you.


My sister and I

with all our grown-up thoughts

and childish body parts

thick blue eye shadow

left over from her mom's old make-up bag

that the world outgrew in the 80's

Showing off the fact

that we could make

meaningful smudges

in the tender face

of innocence


Darkness filled my mind with the feeling of emptiness

cold chills run up my spine

love is lost in infamy

no where to hide sorrow;

pain and agony.

hurt fills the soul,

nothing closes the mind.

The past may haunt, the

future; uncertain:



Something In Your Eyes

There's just something in your eyes

A little touch of him in your smile

When you call out to me

It his voice I hear

In your tales, I hear his lies

When you walk out that door

Will you be walking out forever

Will you forget me like he did

I'm not living in the past

But the old insecurities

Just keep coming back

I know you're you, and not him

There's just something in your eyes


The Disastrous Daydream

I sit here in Geometry class

My pencil twirls in my hand

Coughs escape from the mouths of some

I daydream of a faraway land

Then I think of swimming in the ocean

"If the side of an angle is sixty degrees

Then the other is one twenty"

Right after I applied my sun tan lotion


I hear his monotonous say my name

I feel myself being grabbed like a fish

By a seagull from the depths of my ocean



The time has come when I must rest

The emptiness overwhelming

I must come to terms with

all my heartaches

There will be no more test

I have addressed the situation

And have no interest

in this world

Fate must take its part

My heart has been torn apart

It cannot be mended

All must end

My eyes are

so weak and tired

I must retire

All I want to do is sleep

I shall be brave

Been waiting

for this moment

for a long time

by Tess 9-17-98


November 96

I miss you, i do

In the early morning hours,

Sitting, silent, gazing,

Out my window waiting,

I miss you its true.

As the evening shadows gather,

All remains of light,

Into wishful dreams,

And brings the darkness

That is night.

I miss you, i truly do.


I will buy a sailboat

Oceans it will take

to find the heavy, sinking ashes of my better days


Does it come to this?

I live and die and I resist

Crush it with my hands

But in my mind it still persists

I stand and I defy

All the evidence and "truths"

A crowded raft drifts by

This sentiment is not for you


The prayer of a boy

a soft, crying voice

resonating like an angel's

deep through an empty church

his eyes are tightly shut

maybe God will listen

drops of rain play on the stained glass

how sweet the sound

knocking on the door of God's office

opening the gates

the boy will rise and walk

down the golden road

a Friend walks beside him

holding hands

I'll be here for you

says the Friend

You are weak

but I will give you rest.


sitting around

watching the world flash before my eyes

i can't fail to notice

and not to my surprise

i see little children

grow up into horrible adults

but all i can do

is sit and watch the results

little kids beyond my reach

there's nothing i can do

besides this one thing

see what's in me in you

you just sit there

waiting for someone to come to you

but we both know

no one shall ever do



left with time

in the brilliance where i see

breaking down all the anticipation

the smile

the way you appear

working through the jealousy

swelling inside of me

so much make believe

leaves me watching

as you carelessly glide

capturing every possession

caressing with my objections

your secrets left forbidden

yet glimpsing the sympathy

it's terror that seems focused

swelling inside of me




on a summer day

I watch the mountains change-

interrupted dreams


I know now that it was because

I was lonely

Amidst a sea of people who had a mate

to keep them afloat

That I grappled for you with trembling hands

to keep from drowning

And thought I was in love because with you

I wouldn't be alone

Fear of isolation overshadowed the fact that

You weren't the one.


Empty nothingness echoing eternally in a black abyss

A callous spirit bereft of emotion is shrouded in a hollow existence

The pain of yesterday ringing deep in sub-consciousness

Remnants of a vanishing ability to feel and taste and hear

An atrophying heart mechanically pumps frigid blood

A disconnected soul lies futilely next to an outlet of passion.



He planned his campaign well.

A Queen's pawn opening,

Dinner for two, wine, conversation,

Coffee at her place.

One by one

He would remove her pieces,

Until she surrendered

to the delicious inevitability

of the end-game.

So easy!

She planned a better campaign,

And led him into a fool's mate

In three moves.

Copyright Tony Fairbridge



Whatever happened

To words that once were poems

Now tabloid sell outs


: Tender Predicament

Zealous Realest

Impassioned Idealist

My brave Mind

My poor Heart

I'm one without the other

I'm no one without either

The reality of this world is tragic

I wish it not so

A daily battle for normality

As I wish it were so

What a brilliant state

What a tender predicament

Existing in reality

Living in ideals


The chair sits alone

it does not cry

The tree sits alone

it does not cry

The book lies alone

it does not cry

The human lives alone

Why do we cry?


Page Copyright © AHA Books 1998

Poems Copyright © Designated Authors 1998

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