MARCH, 1998

Updated March 26, 1998

I found a place,

Where I can go and hide.

Where I can console my thoughts,

But my mind is blocked by her.

The look in her eyes,

A sweet sense in her voice.

I want to call her my own ,

But is she really there.

There to one day be told the truth,

But that's hard, being so different,

I wish I knew the truth.

By: P. KuKoda


The Mirror
by The Skeleton Crew
Steven N Adams JR

When I look I get lost

Into the mirror of life

And the shadow of death

Falls upon me

Glitter in the night

With the pale moon light

As a thin cloud covers the moon

I need help to help myself

The clouds don't cover me any more

A new and everlasting covenant

Behold the new stranger

Beware of all danger

For they are lurking everywhere


"Between Us"

My Love

who soars on high

winds - lofty - sullen - 'lone

my heart will, if not requited

soon die

Must die

should not be so!

but you will not return

for in seas of airy water...

I drown



Today i feel like a poet.

Words spew out of mouths

and i read them with

my eyes, my ears, my body.

Everything is so lyrical.

Today i feel like a poet.

I read old essays,

old poems, old stories,


Why am i so cynical?

Today i feel like a poet.

I am going to write a poem

about my love, my fear, my hate.

Words are so musical.

I wish i had a guitar.


















as the sun fades away it brightens the sky with a colorful promise of tomorrow

a promise that tomorrow will hold untold adventures

then with the new dawn the sun begins to make that promise come true



Judgment of the king

God gave his life for you and me

Sacrificed his blood for us to see

Gave his only son for us to be

Wrote the word of his life for us to go by

And said we all will die

And on that judgment day our father up in heaven will be beside the worshipers of his kingdom

On that day the most tears are to be shed , cause judgment day is soon to arrive

So work the good , not the evil , and all will be chosen into our fathers kingdom


The mind is resigned

To being the seeing-eye

Dog of the body.



by bobbi hamilton

Shrouded by darkness

I stand alone

yet in the darkness

you see the light of my soul.

With no sense of denial you take me home

open and caring to all your desires.

For just one night

we share our hearts,

our minds,

our bodies and souls.

For just one night

our dreams become real.

For just one night

we can be in love.

But, for just one night baby.

Just one night.




Soars along the clouds

Flying through the gorgeous sky

Through the clouds they fly


The sun rises and grief penetrates, saturates every cell creating a heavy numbness.

All tears are empty. T

he if only`s and why`s are a futile game that lead toward a hard abrupt end.
(you are as mad as hell that life is so unfair)

Memories befriend and enslave and as the sun sets, the tears run full.

Sunne @ web tv. net


My Spring

As the meadow revives under warm Spring rains,
So has my soul been awakened by your love.

And, as the riverbed swells with each Spring shower,
So has my heart filled with love for you.

And, as the alpine snow melts in Spring's embrace,
So melts my being in your loving arms.

And, as wildflowers burst forth with Spring's caress,
So comes forth my song to you.















(last line of stanza is first of next)

To calm

my sense of the

frustration of trying

to stem the flow of ideas


to the desert

of mental entropy

from having to write some grand work

for nought

else but my own

pathos to write for you

and you alone, and sadly, not

for me

but so you might

enjoy even a bit

of the words which tumble forward

I sit




Her bare toes caressed the dew-covered meadow,

And her body swayed with the wind.

The touch of his hand

Brought the morning rays in warmth,

From the evening dew.

As their eyes met in awe,

Their hearts would melt in their gaze.

A rose turned to open in their presence --

Burst into full bloom from the heat of their caress.


can there be no meaning left inside these circles of


in here is over we find these words

you say "how can we go on"

look for the incapable


that only you can,

never speak.

she knows the way back home


she will not go



"First Kiss"

Fire burns
Deep inside
Craving urgent need

Longing ardor
Raging wanton
Planting wistful seed

Treachery lurks in
Errant blindness
Fettered demon freed

Mortal terror
Ravished pleasure
Hearts that happy bleed



people come in all -shapes- and -sizes-

people come in all -collers-

people can be -frendly-

people cane be -nasty-

the best people are -kind-.


The House of Thunder

The House of Thunder,

Dark corners

Hushed Whispers.

Skies of Darkness

Brief Flashes of Light,

Chaos and Turmoil

Nothing is right.

The House of Thunder,

Dark and Foreboding.

Endless Cries of Agony

That no one Ever Hears.

The House of Thunder,

I shed no Tears.


a tree...

by hajile tloh

What a fine thing to be,

a tree.

with the sun shining down,

on me.

with my leaves held high,

on the soft cool breeze,

What a fine thing to be,

a tree.


Eyes that roam and seek visual pleasure.

Colorful and vivid are our dreams.

But are these dreams?

Or reality in our sleep?

My eyes see wonderful arrays of life.

Be it in dreams or reality.

My eyes don't seek to grasp reality.

But seek visual pleasure and happiness.

Although they see pain and hurt,

They still see life

What do your eyes see?

L.Jaret O. M.




Bone breaking cold
Soaking into flesh like sewerage,
Leaching marrow.

Brittle, hard ground
Splintered and frayed by winter's
Stay over.

Wind rushing past cruelly
Disregarding everything
But its path.

Updated March In-recovery-from-St.-Patrick's Day

Alone in what i've become

Alone in where i now stand

Alone in what i thought was mine

Alone in in my own world


why am i alone

cold so cold

the bitter winds whip at my beaten body

all i feel is coldness

wait! now nothing...pure nothing

just me...ALONE



The Kiss

An unfriendly hand sliding down my cheek

An unknown body pressed against mine

But the memory of the face

is something i can't find

soft and wet yet frozen and dry

two full lips smother my own

As the passion rises i let out a quiet moan

His tongue warm with a distinctive mint taste

so tight and firm...

his arms wrap me in a chilling embrace

As he whispers in my ear "it's time beth"

mmmmm... to what do i owe the pleasure

for a kiss from death




An empty crate, a hollow shell...

Deep within, you'll find yourself.

Forgotten dreams, and moonless nights,

they haunt my day, steal the light.

Now I smile to hide my pain,

and comfort the lies, cannot restrain.


"Friends Alone can bring you tears
Know which ones are for real
By believing in yourself, you'll get it right


See the strings of sorrow clinging to my lips.

Hear my echoing wail reverberate off the climbing walls of pain.

I can see the moon rise slowly against the black cape of my temptress.

It reaches out long, silver fingers to me through the steel bars.

I want to touch the fingertips of the moon.

But she kills it, in a puff of silver smoke,

Before I can get there.

And she swoops down upon the day with a chilling cackle.


Lift up your stone of beauty to the darkening sky,

So that my way may be lit with your love.

Just as the day turns to night,

Sweet summer dreams turn to melancholy winter,

And my dreams fade into empty shells,

Your light will forever shine upon the tears of the children,

Crying in the darkness.



In the day's heat

I sought myself in you.

strangers we were, still are

silhouettes in each other's eyes.

Remnants of a deflected time.



is claustrophobic.

I fear remaining an outline.

Your warmth lingers


fading into opacity.

I know I will burn

till the fire burns in me.

Meena Chopra


Pink flowers blossoming in a wavy desert,

will it change or will it stay?

The black clock ticking, ticking, ticking

like a dark pendulum swinging to our dark demise

Will it change or will we die, to go to the deep blue sky?

Crashing waves hitting a wall of disfigured bodies hung upside down,

crying, crying for the end. A deep red, rocky meteor hits,

causing unreal distress.

Lifeless bodies flow around the ocean.

The end is here.



ismile because i dont have a clue and when i dont smile it doesnt mean im sad it simply means i understand you.


It felt like forever in your embrace

Although strangers we seemed to be.

Your familiar presence drawing me near

My heart....pounding desperately.

Warmed by your touch and entranced by your gaze,

as we danced to a familiar song.

Hearts desire igniting the fire....

that had burned within so long.


I'm the eye that looks

I'm the nose that smells

I'm the ear that hears

I'm the mouth that eats

I'm the hand that feels

I'm the pen that writes

I'm the key that turns

I'm the dog that barks

I'm the jogger that walks

I'm the clock that ticks

I'm the cloud that rains

I'm the lightning that strikes

I'm the mime that talks

I'm everything that isn't!


Why Me? or Hormone Hell


Sheila Gunter

Driving on a rainy day

Searching for a me to be

Fish floundering on hard rocks

The prose comes

Gushing, flushing the toilet of my mind

Where's the little man in the blue water when you need him?

He could tell me which me to be


Stranded in this world,

I wonder where everyone has gone.

All have left me,

Because no one loves me.

All alone in this alien world,

I find a deep dark pool and kill myself.

Seconds before I died I said goodbye.


Goodbye -

clenched hands

wish to hold forever

straight faces

betraying inner pain

sounds of rain

drowning out cry

human drums

beat without control

savoring images

of memories past

thoughts known

without need of tongue

tear-filled eyes begin to...

good bye father


"Fifteen Hundred..." by elijah holt

Fifteen hundred beacons in the sky

light the way to paths untravelled,

stars unseen until now,

innocense, not yet raped by man.


by elijah holt

accept that she's outside,

the perfect one for you,

accept the feet to sore,

to walk outside the door,


With a pen

I start again,

Drawing the pen across the page.

The pen is a key,

It releases me;

It melts the iron-cold bars of my cage.

The ink starts to flow,

And then I know

Steadily working, I shall be free.

I find my release

And my utmost peace

With just my pen, my paper, and me



In the Courtyard

by Eponine

I stand

on the balcony

Rain drips down

hitting the cold blue railings.

I shiver, but not from the


Sometimes a feeling just

comes over you.

I am in my own world,

but still in touch with

this one, hearing the voices

but staring at the

gray silent sky.

all alone

with so many people

but not lonely.

just me

all alone,

feeling the nothing which is something-the intangible


The Dubious Feast

The sky was all gray, the day very cold; my thoughts as a child could never be told.

I dared not utter my inner-most feeling lest my parents, God Bless them, would be sent a-reeling.

It was a day to rejoice, a day to have fun; the Thanksgiving meal would shortly be done!

Then why did I have this sense of remorse?

We were not having Turkey, we were having "ROAST HORSE!"


By:Mary Bonaiuto

AS many nights of romance

as there are stars in the sky

Wishing on my lucky star,

I know you aren't far.

My distant thoughts fade

into the ocean silver...

lying down in the sand

I'm only dreaming of you

As my mind wanders through

the starry sky,

I wear my heart on my sleeve.


Updated March 8, 1998

aging melodies

filling the air with dusty, crisp sound

the players, lost in the whirling of their tenuous harmony

beg for our attention with their

soulful execution

of another man's

fanciful dream



Doom is all.

The doom that awaits at the end of the Hall,

It seeks to consume,

To burn and spread gloom.

It must be stopped,

It must be stopped before it carries you all to Zahadoom

For those of you who don't know, Zahadoom is like Hell.

Blade Runner




Hatred flows around me like a river,

It seeks to to make me whither.

It wants to kill me,

Why escapes me.

This hatred will one day take me under,

And throw me into a world gone a sunder.


How can

I forget you

You have touched my life so

My head tells me I must, my heart...

says no.


I Want

I want you, Simply.

I want to kiss your mouth

and taste your dreams.

I want to roam south on your skin

and fall asleep in warmer places.

I want to love you and need you and want you

and push you deeper. I want heaven

and i want planets, and I want the sun and

I want to be a princess with a crown of

stars and I want fairy tales to come

true, and I want nothing more

than to want you.



Wind plays with your hair,

standing in sight of the sea.

Your lips take the salt,

this sharpens your tongue and laugh.

Shells crunch underfoot,

as we walk between black rocks

towards the sunset.

Old piers have ragged bones

poking through the sand.

Now we drift in silent waves

hungry for our hearts and home.


Pen in Hand

I deal with thin air.

Waiting in self-inflicted isolation

for a slow, seeping distillation

of sensations to yield a sparkle;

a glimpse at what might be.

Still an apprentice,

of temporary solutions and loud blunders,

I chase that single thread of gold

that leads away from ignorance

to the absolute treasure of understanding.



Its' the only answer,

Its' the only key.

Nothing else is left,

If only you could see.

I'm dead on the inside,

My soul completely drained.

I've thought it over many days,

And realized its' quite plain.

Its' too late to turn back,

The decisions been finally made.

I'm not going to heaven,

I died by my own blade.

Nathan Clark



By: Angie Kubisiak

I touch to my left,

A wall.

And to my right another.

Also in front and back.

There is no ladder to climb out,

No way to dig out.

Falling, deeper and deeper.

I cannot escape.

No way to get out.

I feel so trapped.

Hidden within, the box.

This is my life.

I live within a box.


From living,

From experiencing.

I am trapped.



By: Angie Kubisiak


What is love?

Are you supposed to love your father?

Are you supposed to scream at him, hate him?

Do you cry to him?

What roll does a father play in a girl's life?

Is he just another man to hate?

Or to love?

What kind of love do you have with your father?


Should there be love, or hate?


Too much time leads to regret

i regret what and when i said or didn't say

like the richest red wine

i spilled you and let you go

but you leave a stain on my soul

every time i see remembrances of you

my heart lurches with regret of losing my

one and only love

@--^-- Lotus


The Dark Highway stretches, a dank dirty Pathway to Hades.

The cars turn to either Saints or Demons.

The Demons going ahead of us, their red eyes sneering at us.

The Saints coming at us, leaving the Dark Place, their bright eyes

blinding us.Our car is a cage on wheels bounding me to My Dark Place,

my home. Silence unbroken except for the stars singing a deceptively

soft lullaby. Trying to lure me into a dreamless sleep, The Dark Sleep..

I will not sleep!!! The orange reflectors in the middle of the road;

cat's eyes laughing at me.

The signs are white or orange/yellow Ghosts, or blood-red Demons

telling me to yield. They say slow to 55.

Another screams, "NO PARKING ANYTIME!!!" I pay no attention.

I'm only a passenger; i couldn't do anything.

Anyway, who but the crazy listens to ghosts?

We pass over a river and i can't help comparing it to the styx,

and wonder - does it ever get tired of going the same way?

Sacrificing itself to the Ocean? Then losing it's identity?

Poor lonely river...

Also i wonder what does it all mean?

the road, the stars, the ghosts!? What does Life mean?

A Devil's city up ahead, orange/demon lights, the town is deserted,

but for the occasional white - salvation light of the gas station

or the occasional pack of four roving teens. the ghost town-Tchula.

The stars cry louder as i see the way into their Hell.

No mortal can see this. I fell my self drifting numbly

into their promise of safety, their dreamless sleep.

After all, does it really matter if i give in?

The Saints still blind us ;the Demons are ahead.

The End -- Thanks



From 'Odes to the Lads'

First Kiss

I'll never forget
The school shed
The girls on their skates
Taunting, goading, forcing?
Me in my gangly brown duffel coat
And clown-like pants, nervous

Glad you didn't wait for me
To make the move
Never would've happened

You leaned over
We lobbed the gob
Well, you did, I forgot to open mine
Too busy wetting myself

We never did it again


The bird is a lovely friend

The bird is a lovely friend that no one can compare

he is with me when I'm lonely and afraid

he makes me happy so I see him

as a symbol of happiness


tears in her eyes, pain embedded deep within

screaming in her an endless sin

footprints in the snow, razor in her hand

blood seeping out........blade slicing in

sweat dripping down, memories fading away

pain that doesn't hurt....costly price you pay

angel dying in the snow, blood all around

talents withering out.....

hallow soul never found


Cybersays as cyberdoes as cybercan as cyberwill as cybershould as cyberis as cyberwas in unrelenting Cybertimegoby--



Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I can write poems,




The grass, the grass, an unremitting pain,

You mow the damn grass, then it grows again.

I was planning a free day with nothing to do,

When orders came down from you know who:

"Get the grass mowed before it rains,

Mow it more often and it's less of a pain."

I can never figure out this one thing,

How mowing more often is less of a pain.

The concept is flawed for if it were true,

Nothing'd be more fun than being beat black and blue.



by Anthony Silvergar Louis

She's gone --- she's gone!

I've no one else to blame

If only I could turn back time

What was said was not my aim

From now on I'll hold my tongue

before my heart gets hung

Forgive this fool who lost his sense

It's too late for recompense


Thirteen people. Thirteen.

Thirteen dressed in black

Surrounding a coffin

With a child inside;

A child almost nineteen-

Still too young

To have experienced life.

Seven family members,

Six so-called friends-

The only ones who care.

Twenty-six eyes shed tears.

Thirteen people leave,

Walk away once again.

There's no pain now

The blood cells have been drained

In the bathroom tub,

From a bullet in the head.


Don't forget about me! :(


Birth of a Stupor

A dot she were,

her being

a zygotic stupor-

a peaceful sleep in

the mother's dark womb.

She raged to grow

splitting into several,


a schizophrenic metamorphosis

from an embryo to a fetus,

ready for birth

into a place of chaotic movement,

coming to terms with what?


Meena Chopra



By performing acts of goodness

and doing noble deeds.

We are planting in life's garden

good and noble seeds.

Bradley Hunsdon

Updated March 4, 1998 -Whale times of migration





I can see you

Yet I can't touch you

I can hear you

Yet I can't talk to you

I can feel you

Yet I can't hold on to you

You walk right at me

Yet you go right by

Sometimes memories aren't the best

Things to hold on to.



Afternoon phone call

Hints of spring
And yellow melancholy
Tints arrive at
My ear when I hear Your

My lips touching yours
In a world of passion and
Lust for you.
Giving me strength

And love to
Carry on this non-wasting
Of nature.

My senseless awe toward your
Beauty landmarks
A burning desire to
Be one with you.



I will not go into those


not tonight

I've left my rifle at bedside

and this horse has been recently injured.

you go look for her

I'll wait here and send

for help if you're not back

in an hours time.

Go on now...the sun is almost all but gone.


Roses are Red

Tulips can be blue

These poems are old

So I wrote a special one for you:

To me you mean so much

Your loving eyes your gentle touch

The way you make me feel

From the top of my head to the bottom of my heel

Love is a feeling, the feeling I feel

I'm full of love like after a taste full meal



Every time you smile

It carries you a mile in the walk of life

So smile for me

And maybe you'll see

A clearer path to walk.

Aaron Mosby


Love is like a flower.

It grows, blooms, and dies.

But it's beauty stays with you forever.


I worked for lass named Pam

Who did fine dining with Spam

She blended it with butter

With a splendid shudder

And with a taste she said "Hot damn"


Very much like crystal beads,

The rain hurls itself from the sky

Onto the weeping pavement.

The world, inrapt in such violent display

of beauty,

Holds its breath to gasp:

Waiting for the kamakaze rain

to cease,

I wait by the window, praying for the sun.


The Question?

He awakes as I awake,

he lives his life as I live mine,

for pleasing my palate he is no longer alive,

on my plate is where he shall arrive.

Is it my nature to kill and yearn,

or a justification for when it's my turn?

Rick Wipf 1994



Expecting the bad things that happen to me.
I'm not disappointed, usually.

The expected disaster can't be a surprise,
When I deserve the predictable prize.

How did I get myself in to this box
Where my reward is a mouthful of rocks?



by Kimberly Neal

Life is a road everyone born must travel

Most roads are a lot rougher than those of gravel

Those roads that are rarely walked

Those we choose to ignore

Usually lead to the things we yearn for

Sadly the roads we more widely use

Leave us empty, tired, with nothing to lose

Ironically, those with the heaviest loads

Choose to walk down the toughest



My King

Oh Wizard of the Night

Strike me dead

For I am your


And the night is my



Your smile shines like a shooting star

that answers all my wishes

Brings me hope and gives me a reason for tomorrow

And with that one little smile

you can change my entire day

you could make me smile again


You never smile anymore.




My body takes the blow

Though my soul feels the pain

My mind is bruised and beaten

I am only half-way sane

My spirit is crushed to a bloody pulp

Though intact my limbs remain

Fury courses through my heart

Revenge through my vein

I shed angry tears down my cheeks

I am covered in my own blood stains

The wholesome sun has disappeared

And now the Bitterness rains


~Untamed Emotions~

A roar from the wilderness

A cry from the wild

The silence of soberness

So meek and so mild

Aggressiveness burns in my soul

My burning spirit will never be whole

My heart beats with fire

My veins run with ice

I am gentle and kind

So caring and so nice

My power travels through the world

Although I am but one young girl


You touch my soul

Words like a caress wash over me

Soothing, exciting

Electric trails made by your touch

My senses scream in ecstasy

Trembling I am taken to a place

Never before imagined.


Drowning in myself

hiding my soul

can no longer tell who I am

Dreams buried in the rubble of my life,

For what, mediocrity?

Lost in vacuum of life without meaning


The Dying Dove

Endlessly calling,

as it's screaming and falling,

it is the bird of love,

and it flies well above.

It's wings are of silk,

it's color is of milk,

it's beautiful at a glance,

I wonder did it ever have a chance.


if I don't love myself, why would he love me?

if I don't love my self,
then why would he love me?
my eyes turn down,
when he complements me.

If I don't love my self,
why does he says he loves me?
my head looks down,
when he looks at me,

I know its not true,
no one loves me,
but he says "hey don't u see,
I love you with no fee"

BY:Sara Jacobson



My daughter is a curious teen
She asks about birds and bees
I tell her nothing except
"It's no sin to be a tease"

We'll set some rules to go by
And buy some books to read
There's no dating until the Prom
And no sex until I'm dead.


Mixed Feelings

A roar from the wilderness
a cry from the wild
The silence of soberness
so meek and so mild

Aggressiveness burns in my soul
My heart and spirit will never be whole

My heart beats with fire
my veins run with ice
I am gentle and kind
so caring and so nice

My spirit travels across the world
although I am but one small girl


Pray for peace and pray for rain,
Pray for freedom from your pain.

Pray to do the things you ought,
Pray your work won't be for naught.

Pray you won't make angels weep,
Before you're dead and six foot deep.

Pray you'll be remembered well,
Pray you won't be burned in Hell.

Pray to God before each day,
He'll tell you where the dragons lay.



It's tragic when they die so young

So many miles that might have been

a valiant soldier that struggled on,

Is now a rusting heap of tin.

The autopsy conducted by

A grizzled veteran of auto woes

His findings were that my old car

"would not be goin' very far"

A car that AAMCO couldn't save,

would be taken to her grave.

I shed a tear for her that day,

When dear old Betsy passed away.


Narrow Pathway

Long ago, your
towering peaks stood.
Over me and deep within.

Picture perfect...
a gentle fluffy blanket...
waters threshold.

A pathway to a heavenly
space for all to see,
a needle path.

Some weep, some grieve,
some hearts fail.
Not even a bridge,
can span a great gulf fixed.


Figure Skating

Up in the air

Twirling as people stare

Spinning around

in the air and on the ground

Bruising and breaking

Falling and aching

The skating rink is my 2nd home,

I live underneath that great big metal dome.

Figure Skating is life! The rest is just details!

By: Katie Phillips


At the bottom of Celio Hill

where the last snow lies

I heave the doe

Killed on Purdon Road

from my truck,

Cold glass eyes &

sleek neck gone limp

in cedar-sifted moonlight



My aching urge

the open floodgates fill the void with black water

a bitter taste that fills your mouth

my hollow body is cracked and dirty

with countless scars bleeding drops of darkness

the ripples that magnify my sadness

the black hands that beat a blindfolded face.

Your cringing touch leaves me rusted

Lying on the frost to rot

a torn, bloody girl alone on the frozen ground

and your heart colder than my iced eyes.



Keep your mind focused

Or you'll lose your way.

You'll trip into an

Unfamiliar land.

Don't go blind into this desert.

Your trust will be your poison.

Don't cling to the mirages,

It's hard to believe,

But they don't love you.

Asking a novice to be strong

Is hard for me to do.

But be strong until

I can come for you.

I'll bring water.


perennial scent

fills the air

emotions before

cannot compare

meaningful gaze

within your eyes

silent imagery

a mind supplies

a kiss, a touch

if this be true

forget me not

i say to you

matt briscoe


The Bobcat

Although I know we come and go,

I cannot help but wonder,

Why I had to be the last one,

Of all bobcats to wonder.

Maybe earth's not such a great place,

But it could be better then this,

I shouldn't always be crying,

weak from hunger and thirst,

All of my emotions,

Soon going to burst.

Mad at all the people,

Who took my life away.


Lonely Bias

I sing but nobody hears me,

I fly but nobody cares,

They throw things in our waters,

They pollute our crisp, clean air.

I grasp for a resolution,

Or for someone to decide,

Will I live or will I die?


The Ladder

There is a ladder with a broken gate,

Filled with love and filled with hate,

Together they fall,

Together they rise,

With openly closed eyes.


i can't believe

i ever trusted you

believed all your lies

and tricked myself

into loving you


where do you get your ideas?

you don't even know me

but yet you tell me

who i am

excuse me

but i know myself

a little better

than you do

you have no right

telling me how to be

i'm not changing

for anyone

but myself


I have no choice

in how i'm supposed to be

i'm told how i'm to think

how i should act

what i should wear

who i need to be around

and what i can't do

i'm not a puppet

to be controlled

i have a mind of my own

which doesn't seem to matter

i'm sorry but i can't

live up to their expectations

when even they can't

and when i have my own


she worships a plastic toy

would kill for a figure

like Barbies

feels something is wrong

with the way she looks

because of the world

and the ideas

it puts in her head

cries herself to sleep

because against protest

from her stomach

she starves herself

only to grow weak

and not like the model

on the cover of vogue

slices her wrists

at a desperate attempt

to suicide

because she'll never be



I need to get away

to break free

from their superficial chatter

and shallow thoughts

I'm afraid

they'll pull me in

their world of

soap operas

and broken relationships

they talk about things

on the surface

think narrow-mindedly

so they won't

get a view

of themselves


OPEN MIC ARCHIVES ARE COPYRIGHTED © (imagine that!) by AHA Books 1998.

However, the poems are copyrighted © by the individual authors. Enjoy, but don't steal. If you share, please give credit.

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