February, 2002 - Part II
-Danielle Nicole Howard
I need a poem for inspiration like I need a piece of gum after an onion
A brush after a windy day
Sneakers after high-heel boots
A hot perm on nappy roots
I need a poem to make me laugh after a good cry
Some poems for me to share
Others only for my eyes
I need a poem for inspiration
I love poems like I love getting older
Or having a new purse on my shoulder
I love reading them over and over
Until I know each one by heart from the start
I need a poem for inspiration
I need inspiration to prevent procrastination so I can accomplish what's
good for me
I need a poem like I need olives in my martini
Poems feel good like massages should
Like a tall glass of wine when I've got things on my mind
My poems change depending on what mood I'm in
I write poems for inspiration
ďThinking of YouĒ
Every night I go to bed I think of you
In the morning and evening too
At night I think of how nice you are
At light I think of your beautiful smile
Its like a light that shines and helps me through my day
You are the most beautiful girl Iíve ever seen
Its like you are not even a human being
You are like an angel that came to brighten my life
Youíve made me write
You are like the one person I would give my life to save
These words I write thinking of you
While I go through out my day
And while in my bed I lay
These words I write to you my love
To express my love to you
But thatís one thing I canít do by words alone
I may be shy
But you I will remember
Until the day I die
True Hearts Beauty
Forbidden love is what it is was.
Many times and times ago.
Then one day they decided not to hide it and to show.
Both loved with a love and in return no regret was made.
They were so in love that even above made note of it.
The stars in the sky couldnít deny the feelings they shared.
The birds in the blue even implied that their love was true.
The birds in the sky didnít need one reason why, nor the angels
on earth who was there from birth.
With the sky going blue and not you, your soul seems complete and not
As the rumble of the humble even made sounds of tumble.
The ever-clear valley was no challenge for my heart.
Let it bide by its own time, thatís the real sign.
The moon is glowing and itís showing about to rise in the sky.
This was said to me time and time ago.
That a love was so strong like human bones.
The heavens even knew the sky went, blue two hearts were so true and knew.
It was tame like a bird but had passion of the herds.
Celestial light knew their flight and became something more.
A love that played and yes lay with emotion and commotion in the motion.
Then one day will they pay for an eternity of bliss?
Face demons and even minions of the mist.
Can it be that we must face fate.
It upheld me and compelled me.
Fate we await, time but a sign of the lessons we will learn.
This I delay and worry of now what will be.
True hearts beauty I declare and my soul says its fair.
I let the day be mine, I take it all in time.
This is a reply about the times I felt love that was sent from above.
Never will I again forget such love that one knew and even grew to a new.
My heart is free and I need the sky to pass me bye.
Always I will remember true hearts beauty.
i was so busy being
the good guy this time
that i forgot why
sometimes a little
cynicism can be healthy
i was so busy being
the good guy this time
that i let you
play the same game on me
that I've played so many times.
i was so busy being
the good guy this time
that, intentionally or not,
i let you break my heart.
i was so busy being
the good guy this time
that i forgot that
always finish last.
Snow Reminds me
The blue sky reminds me of peace
The trees remind me of solitude
The wind reminds me of the power of nature
And the snow reminds me of you
Snow is cold, but nice to look at
You are cold-hearted, but cute
Snow falls quietly to the ground
Who came quietly into my life? It was you.
Snow can make peoples lives miserable
You destroyed mine for a while
Winter is the best time to go for a walk
And when I was with you I could walk miles
Now me and you are back to 'just friends'
And that's all I want it to be
Snow is my friend, it can be trusted
Because it didn't do what you did to me.
A Sonnet on Love
13 July 1983
Alas my love,
I love you more than the stars above,
I love you more than any cloudy day,
My love I love you anyway.
I live love and I sleep love galore,
I pray for love, I am love and more.
Just you and I, and me and you,
I truly, truly love you too.
Welcome to my love my sweet
My love is something that can't be beat.
I sing this sonnet to thee,
My love for you I love truly.
Alas my love
I love you more than the stars hangin' above.
They laughed at my candor.
I got used to their jests.
I know with you I'm the tender,
I know with you I'm the best.
Before you I was only bile
They perceived my change in a daze,
As a holy naivety I smiled
To my neighbors out of place.
I don't care the slanderers now
Dressing on the shabby frocks
I look like a spring blooming bough
Growing here among the rocks.
I believe in you. I can presage.
"I've carried your trunks,"- You say
I look like a bird of passage
Which is flying to a distant way.
Our last and final kiss
Yes, I remember all times we were together
I thought our love was strong that it would last forever
But now I see your feeling have changed
What I thought would never end has gone and left me
Now stand alone all sad and torn apart
You've played with my feelings and broken my heart
One day you'll be sorry for what you put me though
You'll grow up and realize how much love I had for you
So at night when I lie down to dream and reminisce
I'll always remember our last and final kiss
the day i went to heaven
one day while in a park i felt a feeling to go to the nearest
church so i went to the nearest church as i stepped in i noticed
my feet were off the ground. i was taken to the 1rst pew
while i looked at a picture of jesus his head glowed and he
appeared. i was not scared. he spoke with loud and clear
clear words. then he said "child come hold my hand"
so i did and then i saw the scars i asked him what happened
he replied child i was nailed on a cross and i died 4
your sins then h said come. unfrightened tears fell down my
face and i said i'm ready cause i cant turn my back on god
so then at the pearly gate paul said child u r now safe
from fear. he placed a crown on my had i said will it disenagrate
he said no it was ever lasting then i lifted my wings and sang with the
Kiss and Tell
Love and feel
Don't you understand I'm real?
Think I'm right
Think I'm wrong
I could leave you blind and gone
Where am I?
Where are you?
Feeling only what is true
Nothing at all
Nothing I've had
Truly madly leaving me mad
Am I the one being the bore?
Of course not
At least not anymore
Tyler G. Matthews
It came to me the other day,
after doing my favorite thing.
A competitive game that takes all your emotion,
frustration, and motion it seems.
But then I thought wow, if we just hadn't lost,
I just wished I could turn back the time.
But life, like that game, is a steep rocky cliff.
The mountain we just couldn't climb.
It hurts but its true to realize that you,
will never be a toddler again.
And a final goodbye, with a hovering sigh,
is a final farewell to a friend.
I ask myself questions like what was the point,
Or why did you even say that?
But I can't change a thing because even these words,
Are mere figures of the past.
There will never be a final at bat,
With the bases loaded and a full count.
Never again will you have that chance,
Because its over, you just struck out.
There will never be another tenth birthday,
The presents are gone and you ate the cake.
And there will never be another trip to the beach,
or that same sunset on the lake.
When the lights go out and you fall asleep,
So ends another day.
We're dreaming and thinking of what the future holds,
While our present slips away.
In kindergarten classes all over the world,
They ask what will you do later on?
But the boy only grins, and wrinkles his chin,
A policeman he replies with a yawn.
So the boy grows up, and follows his dreams,
His childhood is over and done.
Looking into the future way back in the past.
His present burned out like the sun.
By Tina Bangerter
Let me tell you how much you really mean to me.
For another woman of your capacity, there could never be.
You are so kind, so warm, so loving and so caring.
You have a heart that is so full for the sharing.
Your words of wisdom, are of great value to me.
The time we have spent, especially.
I wish...I could have been there when you needed me,
as much as you have always been there for me.
But our lives have been dealt with so many different things,
To be able to rise above, will only help us to sing.
I love you My Mother...and I want you to know that I care.
And take to my heart, the words you have shared.
The Song Of The Wolf
As shadows fall across the walls,
the wolves howl a tune.
As my candle burns away the night,
as I watch the darkness gloom.
And through this gentle night I sigh,
as I listen to them sing.
The song of the wolf is beauty,
as it brings about the spring.
While high above me sits the moon,
in all its full moon light.
As I sit in peace upon my chair,
as the wolves howl upon the night.
A Lesson In Life
My Whole Life Changed when you threw me out the door
I realized I Had To grow up I'm a Child No More.
Instead Of doing what would have been right
I broke all the rules and stayed out all night.
I Never Realized how much pain i was causing,
I kept on pushing further without even pausing.
I'm sorry for everything horrible i have done,
i'm sorry for losing my morals and becoming whom i've become.
I wish I could fix and forget my recent past,
that'll never happen inside The torture will last and last.
Can you ever forgive me for putting you through all that pain
I promise Ill try to make it up to you , over and over again
Thank you for telling me you'll love me always and forever
I wont do anything like that to you again, never.
Black sails hoisted, easterly galed
her shapened sway; rolled asunder
the swell, your bountied tack
of brokered dreams- so bale,
Jolly Rogers dressed in black,
as cabin boys to witchery
yours is the curse to prove, within this
drunken bilge, her thirst to brew
her trickeryís trade-
so through the Tankardís eye
shall your fate be weighed on
scales, oaken footed, tipped now
tí ward your gallowsí yard,
chanting and in tune your card
of Taro-shroud, a Reaperís pace,
black-rigged the run that oils his lace
yet, pincered in her wales these throws,
like seasons to seasons
on the brow of the abyss they
close to a once more familiar score-
the deep Azure your sweet repose.
Usher, becalmed, your dawning Art:
to steer where naked lovers dart
pearl-bursting crystal ďDahnaanĒ pools
fast afoot on silvered hooves that
carve about that sacred land
Loverís footprints on golden sands.
Bound, too, in that metre the rhythm of death!
She beats no retreat though becalmed her breath!
Her shimmering patience, sterner still,
is your sullen Requiemís deepest chill to
etch on driftwood your place of rest
and on your headstone your host
In The Forest
The tree twists and bends
It appears to be dancing,
fighting for its place.
This isn't a poem, more a statement of disgust, but don't get me wrong,
it's all about this *slaps left side of chest* "love, respect,
honor.", nobody seems to have it, everybody is so concerned with
such petty shit (he/she did this to me, etc.) why can't we all focus on
the problem, LIFE DOESN'T SUCK-PEOPLE SUCK, people fuck things up, you
wouldn't have a speeding ticket if that bastard didn't pull you over, or
further, if cars weren't invented BLAH BLAH BLAH. Humanity drives
me nuts, people label all the time, even if you refuse the fact that you
do the same you still do, labels, stereotypes, etc.. Everyone has them
everyone uses them, we all think differently, no one is insane they've
just been left in the "fixets bar in the toolbox for too
long". Soul searching in the thicket, in the outhouse in the
sky, in the parkbench, in the huge fucking pill bottle. Pick your
pill and take it- bullshit, think outside the godamn gerbal cage and
accept the possibility that there is nothing after we die, you have on
life to live so live it well, do what you can to make an impact towards
love. War is in the imagination Dream, Love, Be. Let's push
what we've started towards something productive, enough of this racist,
stereotype, hypocritical, lying, apathetic crap. Stop it all.
If we're all planets than you would be Venus
And I would be Mars
Floating around the stars
Floating around but never too close
Never getting to meet each other ,
I still love you even though our paths
Will never cross
We will always be together
In my heart
So spin around and tell me what you see
And if you tell me
I'll try to set you free from
Spinning around the same way
All the time
Please just listen to me
And I'll set you free
Hard To Rhyme
Poems are hard,
Poetry is not the best I am at.
To rhyme is hard,
And to make the poem Iím writing.
Itís not very easy to write one,
I wish I could write better,
Poems as well as other people do.
Poetry is hard but,
I still like it and like to,
Read poems like the one I read.
When I try to write poems,
And make then rhyme its really hard.
I canít find the right words to say.
Last year I didnít write,
More than three poems.
When I was in Portugal,
I wasnít very good at it either.
Poems are hard and I wish,
I could write a really good one,
philosophy talk to me
and tell me what you want
from this maze of life
and seeming endless nowheres
where i somehow feel you
and everything you are
and i don't want to come back down
from this cloud
where i see the truth
that sleeps inside of you
let it fade into life
where i can grasp a small portion
in my fist
my knuckles white with hope
the vapors of you renew
something within me
A Fate No More
From a distance I see you, shared no spoken
words, a name only dreamt of. Yet I can see
all that is you. A sonnet could be written
just of the immense beauty of your eyes. A
face that inspires a man to breath. A smile
that takes my breath away. My world of days
before revolved entirely around an
unwavering confidence that fate was not just
a word spoken, but that which was relished
as life. Destiny had allowed that which is
my heart to dream of all that would be. Yet
all it has shown me is you. I will no longer
look into the skies above in search of a
shooting star. I will no longer pick the
petals off that perfect rose in hope that
you love me. I will no longer listen, when
the wind only speaks of your name. For you
are not here by my side. Thus, I banish all
that is destiny to be my fate.
Everyday passes not one day do i stop thinkin about u
Everything u do
Everything u say
Everyway u look
I never forget
But when you are gone i am afraid
Afraid of losing these memories these words these faces
So don't leave me cause without u i have nothing
This naureen for you i do
To show you how much i care for you
Your few words mean the world to me
And this is how I want you to see
"You are always there"
When I need someone
you are always there
my troubles you would share
because you are always there
I can depend on your help
in my deepest despair
you never think of yourself
for me you are always there
you tenderly hold my hand
and try to understand
you are forever aware
because you are always there
just thinking of you is not enough
a person like you is so rare
your love comes from the heart
I know you will always be there
In Memory of Tommy Hunt (1955-2001)
By: Lisa Carter
Last night i had a dream,
I dreamed i went to heaven.
There was, at first, a strange light,
Everything was gold and white.
I saw those pretty pearly gates,
And a very familiar face.
As i walked closer i began to shake,
My stomach ached and my knees felt weak,
When he spoke a tear rolled down my cheek.
At that moment i knew we had met again,
He was my daddy and my true best friend.
Lazy Pete's Lazy Hat
By Patrick P.
Lazy Peteís Lazy Hat
Was a crazy lazy hat
A hat that was flat
It scared people on the street
It didnít even get a greet
The Lazy Flat Hat
Was made out of rags
Like dirty old flags
It was sewed with hair
And it even had a jeans flare
Lazy Peteís Lazy Hat
Blew away a lot
And then it fell and went plot
People stepped on it
And sometimes they even gave it grit
Thatís Lazy Peteís Lazy Hat that was flat
leaving me helpless
and leaving me behind
that's all you did,
it messed with my mind
i'll return to the river
i'll drown my sorrow
death will be fed
right now, before tomorrow
i walk in the water
to never return
there is no point to life
when will people learn?
i tie myself to a rock
and roll it in the deep
where air from my chest
will slowly seep
i look up at the water
at the ripples i made
they are the last things i see
as my life starts to fade. . .
Through my weakened brain
Too much to handle
Too much to count
Rolls gently down
My stormy face
Joins the surplus
Of emotional imbalance
Like bolts of lightning
Stands out in the darkness
Through my opened vein
My bed was cold
when i got in it.
The sheets slowly
from the heat of my body.
It is a simple comfort, warmth,
but not everyone can
attain it so easily.
Living in the ocean
by Jason Jackon
I have lived here forever
all around me is blue
were ever i go
the blue is still with me
for ever to go
i have never seen the out sight
it has been blue for me
down here is lonely
no friends for me
what is this blue thing?
doing all around me.
My life is in black and white.
My life was shattered when my family had a fight.
So they stick me in the middle.
What do I say? Do I speak? Do I
Am I meant to hear what my family has to say?
I know what to speak! I know
what to say!
They look at me, they know what I said, they heard me...but they
Does my opinion not count in this family of mine?
I am black, I am white, was I not supposed to hear you fight?
Well sorry, I heard, and this is what I have to say!
You stick me in the middle and ignore what I say
Now Iím taking a stand, so step out of my way
You ask what's wrong. And want to know how I feel
Didnít you listen, didnít you hear, my life, my story, my dream,
Canít you hear me? Canít you see the life Iím living?
Now Iím unwanted, unloved, unheard. So watch out world
here I come!
To take another stands, to be seen, and be heard.
Now Iíve told you my life, now tell me yours. Is
it in black, is it in white.
Did you to hear the fight? Now you know what it's like in black, in
Sitting on a rock looking out onto the
Hungering to be apart of something
So rich in life
On one side of your oceans view are dolphins,
On the other side of the oceans view is a
Signifying that when we are all
Hungering to be apart of the ocean,
That there is no barrier between
It's all just
Christy Ann Martine
On this dark and dreary day
No one can see me now
Iíll search within myself somehow
For something that makes sense
In lifeís false pretense
Time just slips away
The sky a dismal ashen gray
My numbness wonít allow
Me to feel right now
Cynical in my own defense
Happiness is all past tense
Nothing left for me to say
No one cares anyway
On this dark and dreary day
With a loud cry he comes to earth
His little mind accepts everything
He goes to school with loud cry
Loves to play and to roam around
Traverse the path with a bit of hatred
And now leaves the school with a loud cry
Out he comes to the real world
Lost, in search of his own identity
Craves for respect and pride he cries
Picks any path to reach his goal
Some go rude some go smooth
Now he needs a true companion
To make up a sweet family for his own
With a wild vigor he earns to live
But years make him weak and old
Now looks back and wonders what he achieved
Ashamed, his head goes down
Feels how selfish he lived
But nothing much left out for himself
Regrets, with loud cry he leaves earth.
Rivers of cotton
In smoke-filled forms
Tremble and slink sluggishly forth
With continuous advancing haste
Joining familiar company
They merge, molding taut shadows
Orbiting an irate soul
Winged and faster it twists
ĎTil under the eaves
There lies turmoil
A tunnel of isolation
Wields detriment to those beneath
Like his unexpected coming
The beast is craven and retreats
To the swirling deceptive foam
The river in the sky
A MANUMIT DOES NOT THINK TO HIDE
Darrell J Smith
Yes, free -
Yes, I am free -
Yes, I said I am free -
I am yet to believe what I can see -
This is an instant -
A fleeting glimpse -
A fast passing time -
A chance to act -
To make a run for it -
Seize the moment -
Take a course of action -
A reaction -
Scope for a new start -
Before they turn and see...
I was free -
Yes, free -
Yes, I was free.
Cant have you\The crush
As days go by all I can do is cry,
Because I cant have you.
All this drama makes me blue.
It hurts everytime you leave me
on the drop of a dime.
The truth is
You are his
I came to grip with this reality
That I cant be with you for all eternity
My heart yearns and my mind burns
To the thoughts of you
So all I can do as days go by
I thought about this time and time,
now the world is going off just to take my friend.
If I didn't anything one time in the hall,
I just didn't see,hear, or notice that's all.
I thought that you'd stay right here with me forever.
Just me and you we'd go through this world together.
I wish that it didn't have to be like this.
I want the world to know about the girl I miss.
You have no idea about the nights I've spent.
I try to block it out but, it plays again.
And again, that's how my life's gonna be.
I wish you knew how much you mean to me.
I love you, I hope you feel the same.
I even like the way you say my name.
Tears to cry and words to write.
Even though we never fight.
Look into the sky and see a star,
I can still see your smile from afar.
Now all I can do is reminisce,
what I wouldn't do for just...one...kiss.
My tender heart, the sorrowed moon
awakened shadows, left to soon
Majestic theatre, blinding light
fantastic antics, goals in sight
flooding waters, realized dreams
holding feelings, light that beams
closing doors, locked inside
stressing out, try to hide
darkening casts, evening stroll
forever time, endless roll
the machine gun posts that stand upper-most in the corners of your
the laughing clowns for gunmen that are laughing all the time
i stayed awake all night to build my city walls
picturesque ornamental gardens and rippling water falls
the buildings are not finished yet the roads are not done
i am not happy when i work beneath the sun
the best part of me was killed on night when those things came out to
just as they arrived they turned and ran away
the clowns reacted by gunfire attacked the monsters in my head
the gardens where destroyed and the church bells fell dead
i looked at my city and that i must obey
the sun along its distance and the moon upon its way
Now, I know... But it's too late
I took a long time
to understand it.
But it was unknown.
Time is gone
You and I
are still alone.
you took my hand in yours
Came close and gave me
a goodbye kiss, the last look.
Your look just appears again
on my mind.
I'm here, you there
I'm thinking and feeling sorry
Because I know the meaning
was in your eyes
You loved me, was it right?
journey felt not heard
the journey is felt -
it's a feeling -
not a word.
and what a painful word
it could be.
is this good for my writing?
is it good for my writing?
all my thoughts are scattered
and no one poem comes to me complete
it require careful cutting
for smelling and tasting
the feeling of its journey.
NEOTHEORALOGICAL NEURON PATTERNS
Freelance firing squad;
Hair trigger goD in a trigger-whore plod.
Do what you do. UNdo.
Through and through this sugary glue
Anti-inspire who've UN-inquired;
Fallen Angel choir.
Atop an infinite pile of worthless While.
negate Negative-sum calculation:
misbegotten Morbid Masturbation.
Where's The Logic?
Watching that rain drip beside my window,
Listening like it was the pain of my heart.
Feeling like it was but the softest touch upon my skin.
Tasting like it was just the sweetest chocolate, melting in my mouth
and dripping down my fingertips.
Becoming that rain and sliding with my brothers and sisters down the
Struggling to come together and make even the smallest puddle
Why does the rain feel like a piece of my soul, and when it falls,
so do I
Sensing what is to come by watching through the eyes of a simple
drop of rain
Where is that feel of peace when a storm is brewing, and winds,
blowing as if to make a point
Needing a sense of security, so they whistle for attention as I do
Does poetry not say, ď I am but a jumble of words on a piece of
Do eyes not say, ď I am but a tool to help people guide their
And do poets not say ďI am but a person who is good with wordsĒ
Where is the irony in that, and is it just a coincidence that we are
Tell me now, is there not a reason for night and day, for sun and
moon, for even black and white?
Is there a reason for breathing?
And tell me people, is there a reason for being at all?
I'm sure there was a time
When people knew freedom,
And the real liberty of soul.
Maybe,even now,somewhere in the world,
Somebody stands and watches people fighting.
Where is real liberty?...
In the men who are very far from the people's fight,
Or in the people who are fighting for liberty?...
Maybe You,Stranger,can answer to this little question...
I may write many words about many things
You may talk about many ideas,about anything in the world,
But,where am I and where are You,now,
In this world,in this time?...
While She Is Away
The moon canít settle to its work. Our cats,
who know a thing or two about
the cyclical nature of existence,
wander in and out of the kitchen, follow
scents of other animals in the flower-beds.
There is a stillness that does not feel right. It feels
like imminence, like the words we should have
said last night, or not at all, and which
remain unsaid between us. This
emptiness she always leaves behind her
is all-consuming. While she is away
the minutes crumble and the hours decay.
Beauty sleeps quietly in the midnight shifts
Brown eyes black hair pure exquisites exist
Quiet temptations laid forth not to be touched
As I yearn to love and caress her
Forbidden it hurts to much
Time has passed But my love still last
Time has passed But my love still last
Time has passed But my love still last
MY LOVE STILL
The sweet tender touches
Moments of sweet crushes
Use to be lovers now resorting to others
To my one and only
My baby's mother...
Edwin G. Padgett
The Dark Butterfly
Dustin Paul Jeremiah Shockley
Beneath the notorious moon, thought fantasizes a dark butterfly
A metaphor of fragile and forbidden passion
Alas...Children dream a beautiful twilight journey to cry
I kissed the glorious beast of laughter
Shall my soul whisper unknown devotion in struggle
The joyful bird imagines heaven, Crave desire delicately
Drink down pleasure and bliss
Scheme death with the lyrical rhythm and a velvet chorus
Prospectively harmonize the wicked words, while enduring the rose
Will reality allure strange emotion or a feasting kindred denial
Dance over the hidden fire happily making romantic love
Look at the fiddlers wrath act pretty and reverent to him
Essence of thirst for beauty, the butterfly dances on ponds of
Simultaneously society breeds youth enabled by flavour
Civilian authority under a snowy roof of babies breath
Whispers in the night of vanilla seasons
And the valley of grapes that i pioneer across
Dance butterfly, dance
Your fiddler plays the ballad
Act pretty and show your reverence
Or the wrath of the whispering night will make concrete and
Of your valley of grapes
Do not repent
I am this season, oh, uncommon grace
I'm told my skin is too fair to be completely black,
I am to black to be white.
I am the epitome of integration, of struggle, of hope and of love.
I am the combination of two races, who became one
who finally integrated,
who finally loved one another,
who finally didn't see skin color as an issue,
I AM UNITY!!!!!
MY GUARDIAN ANGEL
Copyright ©2002 Yolanda Villalobos
There's a Guardian Angel in my life
that watches over me and my family.
It doesn't have wings or fly through the air,
but its spirit follows me everywhere.
It doesn't matter where I may be.
When I need its protection, it's there for me.
It's that inner voice I hear at times
or, it can be visual through obvious signs.
My Guardian Angel, a fine job it's doing.
I can count on it to appear on moment's notice.
With its magical powers to protect me from harm,
Its presence is like having a good luck charm.
Guardian Angel, don't ever go away.
You've been with me for as long as I remember.
I need your protection now more than ever.
Guide me, direct me in all my endeavors.
Stabbed in the Back
By: Demetrius D. Jones
Itís a stupid thing to think about
Itís a cruel thing to do
People do it to everyone
Even people who help them out
People just like you
You try to confront them on it
And then they have the nerve to say,
They were just talkiní or they were just playiní
But you know what keep your cool,
And say okay
Because they gonna what something from you the next day
Now that next day you forget about the situation
Now, turn around, bam, you just got stabbed in your back
Hold up one second you say
How did I get stabbed in my back?
Sit down and do the multiplication
Yep, thatís right
Believe it or not
You got stabbed in the back
Now you want to kill them,
And hope that they never come back,
And even wish they could live in a shack.
Now, you know how you
Got stabbed in the back.
Now, you know how you
Got stabbed in the back.
languid and torn
i am shuddering in the flames; this Empty warmth.
shadows that strangle me remind me of you:
your tiny almond eyes now bathing in salt.
spinning, I'm spinning
you extricate my spirit from these
trees that stain me, these
trees that penetrate me.
i stand here elated, married to the stucko,
examining your arm that slowly dives into your
negro jacket sleeve.
you sing me a song about kentucky as i even out the
strings of your overfed hood.
i ask you to spin me: these poisons are dying,
but intoxication is increasing as you kiss
my collar. Only until tuesday will i
gently spin you, you whisper,
for i cannot sleep in sulfur.
Goodbye to my mother who loved me unconditionally
Goodbye to my brothers even though they were sometimes mean
Goodbye to my babysister so innocent and sweet
Goodbye to my cousins who were always there for me
Goodbye to the sun for all its given rays
Goodbye to the rain that kept me cool in a blaze
Most of all goodbye to the who was there until his dying day
He never lied when he said he would be here to stay.
I was appreciated
I was the one he adored
And he never left my heart torn....Goodbye
Twenty miles down the road, I take my first step
Longing for faith and searching for answers.
Is it a Cross or a state of Mind?
Fists full of dirt when I punch at the ground, how cruel it has become,
This road which should have been better, or at least more true
To the innocent traveler.
This dirty road has shaped me; made me a face in the dirt forever.
This dirty road has lead me to a place that is scary and absent of
Take me away from this place-- I want the best of life,
Free from the choice that delivers my Soul. All I can do is hang
Beaten and kicked, not knowing what to trust, the bloody gravel
Flays my dreams. (oh, those selfish, wonderful dreams)
As much as Iíd like, it not for me to choose.
This damn dirty road has become me; a part of me that asks the same
This damn dirty road likes to run free in order to punch me.
If I walk away, will there be another road to take?
Save me from these morbid dreams-
Embrace me with your love-
For once i mat feel sane-
Indulge me with your thoughts-
Keep me from that place-
Release me from this pain-.
I don't understand myself or my feelings.
Half the time I feel like I am just going through the motions of life.
But I want to live. I want to feel alive.
I want to feel the way I do when I am with you.
I want the same euphoria as the first time you told me you loved me,
and every time thereafter.
Why can they be happy and not me?
If depression is only a state of mind, then is happiness too?
Can I just decide one day that i am happy, and that's how i'll feel?
Is anyone truly happy, or are they all lying to themselves?
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, than who is truly beautiful?
Everyone or no one?
I need to stop pretending, and start being real.
I need to not just live, but be alive.
I need to experience every emotion....everything.
I am young, and I have a lot of time left,
So I need to just be me, and stop fucking around.
If it doesn't kill me, It'll just make me stronger, right?
I need to stop hiding behind my past.
I can't change the past, so I'll just move on.
Yeah, I was molested. Yeah, I was raped. Yeah I was beaten.
But if I can come away from that and still be strong, then shit.
Won't that make me feel better then using it as an excuse to be weak?
I need to be ME - a strong woman,
Who can be loved and love back properly.
I need to be beautiful, and feel beautiful.
I need to be alive, and feel alive.
I need to be able to look at him and tell him the truth about
and know that he still loves me.
And in that simple truth, he will know I love him too.
I AM a strong woman.
I WILL tell the truth.
He DOES love me.
I AM beautiful.
I AM alive.
I AM a strong woman.
I don't need to understand my feelings.
They're mine, and i need to accept them, and take them ,
and use them to become even stronger yet.
1:12-1:31 A.M. 1-22-2002
A weary soldier lifts his head,
The Mark on him is clear.
He has fought for Centuries;
And fought now, but a year.
He looks upon a Brother
That he has carried far;
The Battles left behind him now,
The Memories a scar.
His Wounds at last have weakened him
He tries now just to Pray,
For his fallen Brother's Soul, and finds
Redemption on this day.
He lowers now his tear-stained face,
Into the Blood-stained sod.
Truly now the son of Man,
And the son of God.
delusion or illusion
think with your heart
realize sacrifices great
and small are done for love
do not fear solitude
sit in silence
lost in a moment
June 2000 Jodi R Collett
so when I want you there
you cant be
and the voices in a whisper
saying it is ok
is just that
a voice I have heard
from someone I knew once cared
and a sigh
lost in the moment
lasting just a moment
only to be gone
coming up from the water
trying to catch my breath
with too many things
weighing me down
I think I must have drowned
I drift away, I reach out.
I wrap my fingers around it, I pull it in.
It brushes my face.
I smell the smell; I thought I had forgotten,
but it can never be forgotten.
I feel the wetness, dripping from my eyes.
You are so far away,
and really are so far away.
You think you are close, and I want you to be.
Did I want to forget the smell?
I can't let go.
I don't know how I should feel.
I have so many thoughts, that you can't understand.
Things change, but not to you.
I pretend they don't,
but I think about them.
When you aren't around.
I wish I could tell you,
but i guess you aren't that close.
Even though I want you to be.
In time on earth
the hate, will stop
the past has held much more hate
lives destroyed, blood shed
when will it end?
will it end 19 years from now
or 5 minutes from now
can it stop or will it stop
the hate and anger stronger than ever
but within this soul of mine only love
"WHEN A RIVER FLOWS"
Jason Lanzar Rivera
When a river flows
Does anyone really know where it goes
It takes its turns
It can easily be used to end a life
Or to save one
To put out a fire that burns
But, what about the fire in one's soul
That fueled by the mind and the heart
With the eyes being the only window to the soul
Look deep into them you'll see a spark
Look deeper and you just may see them glow
I guess that's what they mean when they say
"There's fire in his eyes"
Provided by passion and confined by pride
But, no river can extinguish this flame
No matter how many emotions
No matter how much pain.
I sit on the grass
The wind on my face
Enjoying the gentle breeze
I look out into the dark forest
Which is kind of like my mind
Full of things I have lived through
Which I will have to face one day in time
I may look clean, pure and cute on the outside
But inside I am like a stormy cloud
Ready to burst and fill the world with my salty water
Somehow changing it forever
Instead I let this rain out slowly drop by drop
Saving myself from a possible future full of guilt
This gift saves me from what the future may hold
Protecting me like a blanket from cold
Wisdom is in the mirror of the digger
In a passion to find a way of decoding
The blockade on the love I could give you
Driven by intimidation that I might actually
Be telling the truth
Even beats the odds of it being a bad choice
Open your mind to find the wonders
That this mystery holds
Pro Bono, Como se dice, Youíd like it
Especially wrapped in the Garden of Edenís
Mind power to eject a story
Not only will I intensify your smile,
Iíll have your crome standing
One More Year
until our lives change forever.
Where weíll go, what weíll do
will soon be determined.
The decisions we make in the next year
will effect our future, which is very near.
Reality kicks in and the world opens to us
for us young adults can make quite a fuss.
When that day comes where we leave our youth
all the memories and secrets will reveal their truth.
Sitting with my friends talking about this day
makes me wonder where theyíll go and if anything will stand in
All the memories and laughter will soon be gone
but weíve all stayed together with a very strong bond.
Time will pass and weíll live out our dreams
but weíll never forget how much fun we were as teens.
Only one more year before our lives will start
but all my friends and memories will always remain within my
By Tampa Sanders
As lovely as you are
You can be seen from afar
All I ever want is to be where you are
If I must live this life
Then I must have you as my wife
Your beauty, your brilliance
Your power, your sheer resilience
I donít know if your heaven sent
All I know is your heavenly scent
What would you say if I said that I wanted you beside me?
Or that I need your help so please guide me
Because when Iím with you there is no place Iíd rather be
I never thought Iíd be away from you again
And this sorrowful pain will not end
You say youíre near me I only have to pretend
A Smart Bomb's Prayer
Oh! limitless preponderance
Clad in metal skin
Immune to deceit and guile accusations
Directed at a mechanical heart
Of becoming a servant to humanity
And not man's inhumanities
Why Couldn't I
Why couldn't I see this about you
Why couldn't I see the way you truly are
you left, never told me you wouldn't be back
you didn't even care if you ripped my heart out
left me here on the ground crying, breaking down
this heart, was one that once belonged to you and only you
for once again I fear to give it away, wondering if they'll do
Tjr tjr tjr tjr tjr tjr
fjdk sjkdlfjiepo jklds. Ffjdklsijeklfsjidofj?
FJeikdlfsdkfjir,fdskl...fjksl. djfkleopfd! fjkdlsjripwfjklds?
fhsjkdfjshjskdfuhefjsk hdkfsue fdhjskfuehf.
And those are the words at a stutter when love is found.
David S. Maraj
Blessed with bloody visions, cursed with endless fear,
destruction to common humanity, realizing the end is near.
Hate engulfed societies, blood driven fate, chaotic suicidal
tendencies, spun with undying hate.
Fucked up lives of torture, with know one to turn to at all,
blood thirsty freaks of nature, never taking there falls.
Extermination of other races, fueled with hidden hate, outlawed
immoral religions, damned with psychotic traits.
Sitting on a thrown of blood, drifting into evil love, baptized
in eternal fire, dropped like nothing from above.
Born into nothing with a future, constantly making myself bleed,
self-torture to dull blades, a self-addiction to potent
chemicals and weed.
Death driven killers, the world in eternal need, the world turns
to anarchy, because of one bad seed.
A nuclear world war III, world leaders without any nerve,
everybody wants to be saved, a fate we donít deserve.
The world will never learn, how death and blood always will win,
whatís in store for the world? A future full of sin.
There was a time where I would say
That what defined me was my pain
But now that's changed, though I feel the
same, and it scares me
There was a time I would lie awake
And simply cry for crying's sake, But now
that's changed, no tears are shed, and it
There was a time That I was hurt
And through my veins cold blood would spurt,
But now that's changed, my wounds are healed,
and it scares me.
How could it be bad, people around me say,
that now you can make it through the day
without the darkness and the sadness and all
the pain surrounding you
To me they are dumb Cause I've become so
and, truth be told, it disgusts me.
Everything was going fine, until my pain walked in -
I couldn't believe that after all this time, I got that same old
I had myself together... never again would I fall -
and with one little smile... I offered him my all.
He broke my heart so many times...I thought I'd had enough
but as always, when I'm near to him... I'm anything but tough.
Nothing has changed after all these years... the love the hate,
and the sorrow...
...Then finally he walked away, my heart crushed in his pocket,
and I just stood there with baited breath waiting for him to come
Time is short so lets be straight.
Win or lose weíve all did great
to have a place that we call home
that no one else can call there own.
Weather yours is down an alley
or by a creek in northern Cali.
In the end weíve done just fine
to have a little peace of mind
In Desolate Sea
Jeffrey Michael Miller
I'll be your island in desolate sea
And I'll be the comforts that you are to me
And I'll be your strength when you start feeling weak
And I'll be the port you so desperately seek
The waves just get higher and come to a crest
And you're feeling tired and feeling distressed
Sail with the wind and I'll bring you to me
And I'll be your island in desolate sea
I try to speak...my voice falters
How can I make you understand?
All these years drift between us
I close my eyes...see you before me
Your eyes burn with fire
You were this force unconquerable
a raging sea, you challenged me
Taunted me with the promise in those eyes
Tormented me with cryptic words
My emotions ran high....for you
grOWING and intensifing
You fueled them with your fire
I still hear you calling
It's a distant rumble in my soul.
I hide in my shell, and watch the world go to hell,
the thought of being alive just scares me,
I'm scared to love and I'm scared to live
thought of happiness are like tales from a fairy,
I've walked to the edge and I've tried to look down
but then I lost my balance and slipped,
on my way down I reached out my hand
and grabbed onto the cliff with the tiniest grip,
as I hung in the air I thought of letting go
but maybe my soul can still be found,
so I climbed back up and sat on the edge
too scared to move on and too scared to look down,
I hide in my shell, and watch the world go to hell,
the thought of being alive just scares me.
Stop... and start
I have everything
all at the same time
I know i started
this as a riddle
but all it is
is a rhyme
I wish i knew why
I'm being punished
I've committed no crime
isn't worth a dime
I know you think that
I'm just sitting here
so I'll stop
and let my heart
My memories of you
My memories of you are from long ago,
where are you now ill never know,
I was the apple of your eye daddy's little girl,
noone could come between us noone in the world,
I thought I could always run to you and you'd be there,
But now those arms are shut you don't even care,
a peice of my life is missing noone could replace,
the feel of daddy's arms or the love on his face,
hearing him say ''you can do anything you set your mind
''ill always be here to carry you through,
I don't have those words but mostly i don't have you,
ALL i have is a broken heart and my memories of you.
I am so sad,
it might aswell be dark,
it might aswell be rainin,
it might aswell be deathly cold,
i might aswell ave not woken up this mornin cause my energys
I am this angry,
it might aswell be thunderin,
it might aswell be lightenin,
it might aswell be burnin,
i might aswell paint it all f*ckin black cause my life aint
never gonna brighten.
I am absolute in my depression,
it might aswell be Armageddon,
it might aswell be the apocalypse,
it might aswell all be engulfed,
i might aswell be dyin
cause all i ave done in this life is alot of sighin.
~ Dream Of The Insomniac ~
The sunset brings in the darkened night
this is thine endless and sleepless plight
I can not closeth thine sleepless eyes
at least until I see the sun start to rise
The time ticks by, my eyes do not shut
everyone normal here thinks i'm a nut
I don't needeth to sleep like some of you do
I stay up all nighteth paying my insomniatic dues
My dreams cometh quickly though
When thine eyes finally close
Hours upon hours, my dreams come to me
Hopeing I do not waketh, you see
For in my deepest slumber, when I am at rest
I know that my body will not faileth this test
But when the sun sets again I'm awake
for it's the daylight my body doesn't take
I'm not a vampire or demon of night
I've just got this endless, sleepless plight
My body clock ticketh and time passes by
For awake I am staying, or at least I shall try
When my head hits the pillow, and I finally sleep
I'm inside these walls of the dreams I do keep
For my mind is a canvas my heart is the paint
don't waketh me up, I'm perfectly quaint
Don't counteth me a loner, a wierdo, a freak-
because the dream of this insomniac is really to sleep!
Tracy Lynn Richardson
Tears From You
Being dead now I come back as a tear
to caress your cheek and fall from your lip
Taken from you, when to you I grew near
Your love is a cup from which I did sip
Day by day I lived with you in sweet bliss
Amazed by your beauty and your true grace
Captivated by your lips I would kiss
It was a gift just to be in this place
Through good times and bad times and what may be
God did take from thee my life from this land
my love will not alter at all for thee
Eternally we will walk hand in hand
you and you alone is all I see
my one and my only you are to me.
My Mind Wonders
Sitting down, drifting through space,
Not one thought in my mind, I could trace,
My mind wonders aimlessly, nothing in particular
To focus on
Just thinking about anything that sounds interesting,
Like money, clothes and women,
Ya I know, that seems materialistic,
Thatís not me, just what I think about,
My mind wonders aimlessly, thinking about home,
But I never think of going or staying for long,
My mind wonders aimlessly, as I keep to myself,
I am not shy, just thinking of something else,
Wondering where will I be in the next year or two,
Still in school, or a working fool, I donít know
Thatís why I wonder
My mind wonders aimlessly, looking for solutions,
Solutions to questions that complicates matters,
Solutions to questions I shouldnít even consider,
But do it anyway, because it keeps my mind wondering,
I donít know why my mind wonders,
Is it to keep me occupied at the time or,
Is it to prevent me from knowing or doing whatever,
It is that I am doing,
I donít know, I just know that my mind wonders
© 2001 Neeraja
What you called love
was nothing more
then shallow words
written on sand
to be washed away
by the waves of the sea
with an empty heart....
a mothers kiss missed
its the hardest thing in the world...
it hurts so deep inside, deeper than anything ever before
u wish u could have that "perfect life" ... the one
you see on movies...
but its so ridiculous, and un-realistic, quite absurd
divorce.... parents just don't understand...
it hurts the kids so much more than the parents
no one gives a shit about if you mind or not...
its just like your suppose to pretend like everything's
and that your okay, but deep down inside you know your no
to see her kiss that "special one" she loves, it
cant be explained
your thoughts cant be put into words...
you want to die right then and there,
like drop right in front of her, its not even about crying
your thoughts have passed that state,
u sit in ur room and think about a mothers kiss missed.
Shining in Sentosa Island
That day it shine
though we heard thunders behind
Riding on bikes
as though in the nights
along the sides
with cars align
Up slope we went so tired can be
down hill we rode in a breeze how lovely it may be
(i knew you enjoyed that)
Around the bend
what lies ahead of our hands
all went down to a land
no tourists looked tanned
Snap photos i asked
you be my cast
IN THE LIFE OF SIN, WHAT'S DEAD AGAIN,
LIVES TO PRECEDE THE PATH OF HEAVEN.
RECONSTRUCTION, BLASTS PASTS OF DECEPTION, BORN AGAIN
LIVIN LIFE TO LIMITATION,
BABY ANGELS FLYIN EVERYWHERE TO SAVE HIM.
OPEN DOORS CLOSE DOORS TO LET ME IN.
HYPNOTIZED BY KITES, LIVIN IN OBLIVION.
HELP ME TO SUCCEED A LIFE THAT'S CLEAN,
SHINE BRIGHT TEETH TAKE FLIGHT TO SAVE ME.
SMILE IS A FROWN TO ONE,
ONE WITH NO LOVE BUYS DUBS TO FL0SS A GUN,
PROTECTION OF IMAGE IS NUMBER ONE,
PRIORITIES SKIP BY DISABILITIES,
BLIND CANT SEE, TO BELIEVE,
LIFE OF SIN IS NO WHERE TO BE.
The City Where Angels Cry
The night is silent and cold as they sleep,
But for some it is filled with tears as they weep.
It is a terrible place to be in the night,
For the dreams of each person are filled with fright.
The sky is covered with a thick layer of smoke,
And so are the minds of the damned who woke,
In the city of angels gasping for breath,
Not realizing how close they have been to death.
The day is silent and cold as they walk,
Because there are terrible eyes watching them talk,
And the people who live and breathe here know,
That society has struck a deadly blow,
On this city of angels that used to be great,
But is now just a breeding ground for suffering and hate.
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