Up-dated September 16, 2000
By the Brook
Dangling one's feet
in the spring,
seems to soothe the troubled soul.
Is it the cold
or the wet,
that brings about forgetful?
Many have said
the same words,
I have not heard them 'till now!
by David Koepke
My Love is like a river, flowing faithful to the sea.
Nothing here obstructs the pour or true capacity,
of the innocent intention to be real to my own feel.
The ocean's only purpose, to fulfill my last appeal.
My Love will always be here until time itself subsides.
As it can be the one thing that my Love and heart confides.
While it travels toward somewhere, where I can never find.
Tomorrow always coming, leaving yesterday behind.
My Love seems to elude me when I need to feel the pour
of the softness of its touch when I don't have it any more.
Escapes the feted effort our encounter only shows.
My Love's the pure idea that I kindle, as it grows.
My Love stays very fragile, although scarred, sensitive too.
Denied, my heart is troubled as I make my own way through.
In a tiny steam of water my Love trickles down my face.
Can I ever find the pieces to refill this empty space.
My Love takes time to happen, though uneven, gentle force
makes it rush down to the ocean and drain the water's source.
See the light that's glowing brighter than it's ever shone.
Feel the warm embrace upon you, before my Love is gone.
Your open-ended sonnets
satisfy my blue-eyed soul
until nothing is left except
the soft sighing of my heart.
No doubt we are soul-seeking mates
hoping for a lighthearted image
of purity among the purile
musings of the vision-less goths.
I cannot help but think that
your timing could not be more
perfect than my own
even though I don't know truly what you mean.
In cyberspace, can anyone hear the screams
of mindless hopeless neurons
out of control in the web
of our imaginations?
Togo's in your hand
I held the menu and began to rejoice as I spoke aloud the sandwich of my choice.
At first I pondered the 24, ahh the Avocado and Turkey galore!
Then thought I,10 I should try, the Pastrami Ruben on rye.
I spoke my mind and was surprised to find my lips form a number 9.
I corrected myself and last said, "Number thirty I'll have instead."
The worker, Joe, nodded his head, and began the preparation by slicing the bread.
As soon as Joe finished my meal, I thought of my good friend Carmen Reel
Who once said, "There's nothing better in all the land, then a Togo's sandwich in your hand.
Those words of wisdom hit my heart as I took my first bite from that work of art.
It hit me like a wave hits the sand, nothings better than Togo's in your hand.
I drink my coffee black
black as a moonless sky
it's bitter and hot 'tis true
but it opens either eye.
I drink my scotch over ice,
I like crackling clinking cubes,
only single malteds though
blends are for the rubes.
I eat too much cholesterol,
sugar and fat. Eat like ants
all through the day
then can't zip up my pants.
Belly flopped over tightly buckled belt
far from perfect far from svelte.
But one thing I know for sure,
never better have I felt.
For there is more to life than a body's measurements
more to keep a mind occupied, like silly sentiments.
So I keep tugging on the waist bands of my size 34's
to tired of searching for the fix
deciding it's easier buying a 36.
Green Eyed Peaches
People say they don't exist,
But that cant be true.
When you open up the fridge,
They stare right back at you.
Juicy peaches with big green eyes.
They wiggle and giggle,
To my surprise.
Furry and sweet,
Round and pink.
Their big eyes wink and blink.
So when its something sweet
And not mom's melba toast.
Eat a peach and you will find,
A little peachy ghost.
(you don't get that from toast)
Poem for eSuccess
Experience teaches you when to say 'No'.
Knowledge teaches you 'why'.
Seldom can a person combine the two for any length of time.
While 'brains' is knowing when and why the other guy is 'blind'.
Its success that follows those who will make sure
That they are not the ones following right behind.
Chase your tail....
to find the trail ....
that leads to fame and glory
I have a sick disformity
so gross and undefined
that it causes mild insanity
and makes me cross the line.
I wish it would leave my body
and leave me here to rest
for my soul is not a lobby
where this stranger may end its quest.
Whispers all surround me
as I walk through life's cruel halls
it ceases to astound me
when I cry at their cruel calls.
I pray to God to take it
but He claims it His work of art.
In Society, I will never make it
with such a disformity...A Heart.
Complete the lines inside your nose.
Come now where are my lovers?
I'm confessional and I lie.
Think of me, Barbie.
Don't influence our minds with fashion and destroy our bodies with fast
I'm on heroin.
I'm in love with everyone.
I want a cup of English breakfast tea, you love to look at me
In the morning and late at night.
My eyes don't blink. I stay alert in between falling asleep.
I'm in love.
I'm like heroin to everyone.
I'm glamb: Girl Lover And Male Barbie.
Sitting in a chair, Perhaps in my underwear,
paintings create me.
Flow the Symmetry
Keep up the pace
Never let it stop
Grind the contradiction
Erase the flaws
Keep the mistakes
Make the realities a vision
Beauty of a Girl
Where can you find the brightest sunshine?
In the face of a beauty is where it is made,
The face of a girl that shines with beauty every time,
The beauty of the girl will never fade.
Beauty that could shame a rose in bloom,
The beauty that seems to be everlasting bliss,
A smile that could brighten the room,
A smile that seems to be endless.
I stand alone wanting to be near thee,
Every time I see the beauty my heart begins to fly,
How could one word be able to bring great joy to me,
I hope I donít get passed on by,
Hoping and waiting is all I can do,
I hope one day you feel the way I do too.
The bright blue sky,
The soft green grass.
Are just some of the things which are not quick to pass.
And the worms in the ground wriggling without a sound.
The birds, butterflies and the buzzing bee's are just some of the things you love to please.
The shift of the swing and the breeze of the air are just some things you love to care.
And the leaves that are posed around on the trees, in the soft summers breeze.
A Mother's Wish
I sit here and dream of childhood gone by,
When peace was a kind word touched by all mankind,
No fighting or bloodshed or taking of lives,
Where all kinds of people could walk safe at night,
A small child out playing a pleasure to see,
No fear of the dangers in her eyes could there be,
The death of so many is felt by us all,
Especially a mother when she sits all alone,
A teardrop is caught in the palms of her hands,
When she thinks of the times before war began,
So let there be peace once more in our land,
That all little children can play hand in hand.
The bus pulls out, my heart lets go
cos nothings the same
since i came
the big town that suffocates me
don't know where you went- if you could see where
i've went- you could let me know
case of cheap beer, and some cheap sex
on the side
my fucked up life
and when i look in the mirror
the past is all I see
the smell of angry people won't change my mind
cos next stop, is a month ago,
when you held my heart
and took me away
and where is home?
cos nowhere is all i see
your not here this time
and i won't ever find that moment again
Ten angry men pushed you away
and i can still here your techno bullshit
pounding in my head.
I turned invisible
see right through my shell
and you really make me wonder when you cut me off
but the world looks much better when you close your eyes
all my anger won't change your mind
Cos, you aren't jaded
your pasting your denial on the walls.
ME AND WE.
Me-I love being me when me is in control of me.
When me becomes we, we are open to many possibilities, both positive and negative equally.
Me cares and shelters my soul, but we acts careless and cold.
While living in we, we is still really thinking mostly about me, subliminally.
When me has been beaten and bruised,
Me again looks for we to be comforted and soothed.
When we feel comfortable and begin to open up, to reveal the truth,
once again we's been stuck.
Feeling mistreated, used, and abused.
Me is strong, do you know what me does?
Me tries, we doesn't care.
Me cries, we multiplies my tears.
Me sighs, yet we doesn't hear.
Well, me clearly sees that we has no foundation in me,
so as hard as this may be, Wadu we!!!
It's time once again to start living for me,
be the best that I can be!
That comes with a money-back guarantee, eternally risk free.
by Tait Riis
Tomorrow is a nice idea.
Today I fell on my face,
Tomorrow I will walk with utmost grace.
Today I fought against my will,
Tomorrow the battle will lie still.
Today I was beaten down,
Tomorrow someone will lift me from the ground.
Today the world got the best of me,
Tomorrow I will fulfill MY destiny.
Today I stood emotionless,
Tomorrow your lips I shall kiss.
Today I died a thousand deaths,
Tomorrow I shall suck from life's breast.
Today I found that MY
Tomorrow is only yesterday that I have borrowed.
Oh so pretty in the sky
Left after the rain
Arraignment every colour
To end in a pot of gold
Arc of colour
Symbol left behind
Remember the rain
Soft haze of colour
Amongst the clouds
After the rain
I'm ever hopeful
filled with dreams,
Bright brand new
in southern skies,
I see the first light
of loving in your eyes,
First to dim
and then I flee,
To leave me
alone with me,
To be afraid
To be afraid
To be afraid
And of what's within...
A FIRST AND LAST LOVE ENDED
An "Irish Airman" comes to mind as today my views were altered,
Inside my head I try to find the point at which I faltered.
Have I been dealt a faulty hand, or are my eyes corrupted.
A native from a distant land has done his best to rupture
these heart filled feelings of my life which occupy my soul.
Contrasting views of Black and White confuse as distance grows.
The orbit around my blazing sun has now been elongated.
Did I hesitate upon this one, or was the outcome fated.
And now it's tough to occupy a foothold for my life.
This corkscrew feeling makes me cry, I'm destined with this strife.
Deep inside my public front, my love is has been kept,
To deep to read by words alone, it finally has been wept.
Written words can not portray
The things I feel for yesterday.
So happy and carefree those,
Times when you were mine to hold.
I know you're gone and gone for good,
And letting go is what I should.
But that is hard for me to do.
Pray tell, is it this difficult for you?
Written words can not portray
The things you mean to me today.
When life was tough and hard to bear
You were the only one to care.
You taught me what love is for,
To have and be, to cry for more.
So parts of you I still hold close,
The things I want to cherish most,
Your gentle smile and warm embrace,
The sight of joyful tears upon your face.
Written words can not portray
My love inside that must lay
Deep and quiet for much too long
Until we meet again, in song.
by David Shaw
Like a dream like a crash
Father running in to catch you
Falling from us away from us
Why didn't you even tell us?
Momma I don't even remember that day
Something like closed eyes
Something like a yawn stretched arms
But I know that it happened
And now as sun slaps leaves and trees
As breeze whips through our yard
We know that you fell further than a floor
We know that falling does not mean down
And we know that catching you now
Is to catch a snowflake that melts
I sleep to dream away that night Momma
But sleeping reminds me of too much
A man named Brown
Very nearly in mid June, my ears did tell of a wondrous tune;
Soft and far-come from over the hills of lavender town.
It spoke in hurry with a voice of utmost curry, surly it was meant to be found.
A strong story this voice did tell of a young man who fell into hell.
Weak and wobbling in a strange lair deep underground.
The man became lame from all despair and shame, shame brought from an unbroken bound.
For many a year in the abyss, his painful cries brought such sweet bliss,
Harmony, and joy to the devil, sitting atop his fiery mound.
The fierce daemon showed his wrath and the man began to laugh, laugh a harsh piercing sound.
For at that very time there was such an extraordinary sign,
Bright and blinding that hellish pit from all sides around.
It was a hot white, burning, blinded light, quite that enveloped his crown.
The hellish beast roared in pain as the holy light filled every earthly vein,
Erupting and throwing molten rock a hundred feet above ground.
The devil gathered all his might, called his hellish army of night. Light will perish by the bane of his hounds!
Throughout the years the daemons fought, endless numbers lost for naught.
Billions of corpses lined the inside of the abyss like a gown.
All the blood washed away when the last daemon fell that day, save one, hidden, Lucifer Brown.
Rantings of a Surprisingly Senile 22 Year Old
Chris De Roma
I want to start a new world; its time to shake things up some. This is going to be a place
where Sally Struthers is starved to death on Ethiopian television. Salesmen, Jehovahís
Witnesses and yes, even Girl Scouts who knock on doors earlier than 11:00 will be
flogged in the town square. Nobody will breed poodles and anyone driving around with a
bumper sticker reading ďI Heart my anythingĒ will be subject to vehicular confiscation and
6 months in a state approved reeducation camp.
To fight crime, every man woman and child will be armed with an Uzi and a spare magazine and after 48 hours, the survivors will gather round the pile of burning Yanni and Enya CDs and sing Joy to the World. Chicken will be the bird of all nations and Colonel Sanders will be declared a saint to whom several monuments will be erected. Beer will be taken away from all college age freshman males and the women will be forbidden from drinking wine coolers. Instead theyíre all getting milk and cookies so that for once, theyíll control their fucking hormones.
Yes this will be the new order and Iíll be your king. Now shut up and get me the remote. I want to watch C- Span.
Give me light don't give me that death. It's only on death that life is shed.
While small children dream of joys that lie ahead, as they lie in bed but the counter-clock-revolution sees the sky turn red.
Over seas of darkness-I'm the love not found like lochness
In strange whirlwind times that die like life lost in strife
-and those found with a red-tip knife because I am that lost life.
I see what you feel exposed in ten-times rearranged soul locked deals
That are stopping slowly as life churns from stopping to popping
-and the children wake from the deepest hours and turn life from popping to hopping
And in this life there does not cease that stopping....and the children play.
They play on that doubt of seemingly surprisingly squandered amounts
-that in tomorrow lies the turn from laugh to shout and shout to pout
-what bleeds from my pen is like the finest stout...
That fathers drink in time of unadulterated mindless need-because it's too much greed
-on which weak minds feed but look above for your heart to be freed
-because whether or not you believe it's what you believe that is the seed
Of beginnings end on which life descends
-compressing trust into stressing the truth that mends before sinking into the ends-of death
That twists souls into soul stressing tolls paid by life that creates death.
Like I said--children sleep and if they wake the souls may not be fed.
Seth I. Witkowicz
driving in to the red-violet the amber amber red
dusk of day sunset:
Who's watching out for me?
~*The Only One*~
I sit here and look at her
silently watching not causing a stir
it's driving me crazy
she's lazy and blue
there's so many thing i thought she could do
was i wrong or can i not see
threes more to life i wanted her to be
disappointed yes i think
all she does now is complain and drink
my daughter my sister my brother or lover
who is it you think i'm about to uncover?
i bet you wouldn't have guessed it is my mother.
As she reached up and brushed a strand of hair across her face
(with a thoughtless sleepy reading sort of grace)
that'd slipped breeze-blown and tumbled down her summer-colored cheek,
I saw a single curl lift, part, and trace
curved runes, spun on the warm page-blowing breeze, until the creek
and day erased it, so though we didn't speak
I knew her for a moment like I know touch and taste,
(and tried to read but found that I had somehow lost my place,)
and leaned across and kissed her without haste.
Wolfian Flight of Fancy
Have you been to the emerald cities?
Not Oz. Not Oz.
Older,wiser, past our little earth.
Beyond the Emerald mountain,pastdespair and hope,dream and nightmare.
Within the gulf between sleep and waking.
The Emerald cities that do not know us or our old father.
Perhaps in Hurqala,you will get maps.
But beware, the maps in Hurqala say yes and no. North is South, yet North again.
Signs of future past and ever-present tomorrow are scattered about,
cloudy gem-like,flashing iridescence and offering insight, gnosis.
Too soon night falls in Hurqala, darkness spreads, travelers become lost,
the signs pools of shade with no more guidance in their unlit faces.
Forget Hurqala,forget the Emerald cities. No Charon can row you back
across wide seas of unknowing.
Time to stop and start out again for mortal shores and mortal knowing.
What had seemed till recently as clear as day
Darkens now, heavy fog and Violent winds
lap into confusion. Am I asleep?
Her mindless games of destruction hack through
out my dream, bleeding down upon my imagination.
Is this lust or does she has a purpose in mind. maybe
Dreams of speculation block my soul. Her face,
Her loneliness. Her passion. Tears of pain
trickle down onto my heart like sharp needles.
Desire and emotion consume her lips, but nothing is
said. I must sleep.
I hear her voice, soft and soothing. I can't stop
listening. Her words hackneyed over and over. I
want to understand but the words from her soul
block her. Flashed upon anger and confusion.
I must still be asleep.
Lilacs grow each year,
Lilacs have soft colors,
They can light the day
with there petals so soft
There petals are soft like feathers,
The earths ground helps them grow
to there full potential,
The sun lights these flowers
fulfills the day with their scent.
"THE LIFE OF FOOLS"
Like dreams; the color raw
formless, faceless, and grand
a new forgotten law
bestowed upon a perfect land
Epoch change a resurrecting flaw
to loose constricting rule.
as i learn of shangra-la
"to live the life of fools"
Draw life, without the lines
Picasso's portrait self
with witch dismissive times
are bound to golden wealth
lyrics come about the rhyme
winds stir the hallow chimes
alas we change again
Today I Tried
Today I tried
I really did
I wanted to be
A better kid
I wanted to be
The best I could
I wanted to be
But then it all
Came crashing in
I couldn't win
I stopped myself
And quit the game
A losing sport
And so inside
My fury creeps
I stalk the night
While the world sleeps
Mom and Dad weren't home
Billy was all alone
A company of strife
He ended his life
Dad waits by her side
It doesnít hurt she lied
A boy held to her chest
A baby to his breast
He needs time alone
Weíll leave him at home
A company of strife
He ended his life
Never felt so weak
Dried tears on his cheek
Shoes scrape across the floor
Not to be woken, by the door
Soon weíll be home
Then he wonít be alone
A company of strife
He already ended his life
Mom lies by his side
Iím so sorry, she cried
She wipes away his tear
I wish I was here
No being at home
Will keep him from alone
With the company of strife
Billy already ended his life
Hello not Goodbye
The day I was born was a day of joy then quick as light I reached for a toy.
One day I said mommy, you taught me more cause you thought I was funny.
With a big smile and a big bird and then the Lord said the word.
Bethanie, Bethanie he said as I slept, and then I got up and left.
It's okay mommy you hear me saying just believe and keep praying.
I'm alright I'm okay mommy don't worry I will see you again some day.
Daddy i want you to know, it was okay that I had to go.
You loved me and I love you to, but daddy understand I had things to do.
The Lord needed me bad so daddy please don't be sad.
I'm running and playing and meeting new friends.
Just understand this is not the end.
Nana, and papa you have to be strong, you have Telissa and you must move on.
Meemaw and Papa I love you all, if you need me pray and I will be called.
To my aunt's and uncle's you have children to raise please teach them who to
Don't look at them and think of me that's not the way it is supposed to be.
No one knew certain things, like where I put my halo, or how I covered my wings.
I guess I must tell you the secret you did not know, that I was but a small
angel just on loan. The Lord sent me here to change your lives, to show you
the light and open your eyes.
Don't be sad or set and cry
Soon it will be hello not goodbye.
I SEE A BLUE EYED GIRL IN A WHITE DRESS
I SEE A BEAUTIFUL GIRL
I WANT TO KISS THAT BLUE EYED GIRL
I SEE SOMETHING AMAZING
I WANT TO KISS THAT BLUE EYED GIRL
I SEE BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYES
I SEE BEAUTIFUL BABY BLUE EYES
I SEE A BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYED GIRL
I SEE A DRESS AS WHITE AS NEW SNOW
I WANT TO KISS THAT BLUE EYED GIRL
COME TO ME AND TOUCH MY HAND
I SEE A BLOOD RED ROSE
I SEE THE RED SKY ABOVE
In the desert sea
There lies a rose
Which stands all alone
But is so proud and gay
That every pedal
Is a kiss of red
Shat no eyes were set
Ever upon it.
were alone as one
in this single universe of death
were born to suffer
born to scar
it's the scarring
where true life begins
it's then, that death leaves its eternal mark...
Your love is like a fresh spring rain
That chills my body
After a long hot day
Your ab's bring me to my knees
That quivers like a real cool breeze
Your lips are red-sweet and cold
That makes the morning new not old
Your hugs are the sweetest thing
That makes me feel like a queen
I love you more everyday
As your with me all the way
Lighting strikes as my heart pumps its last breath
The rain stabs my face like a million knives
Pieces of gravel are imbedded in me as though I was part of the road
I try to open my eyes but warm crimson blood rushes in
I open my mouth to scream but only a faint whisper escapes
Tears pour from my face as I lay there helpless
My chest feels like a thousand lbs were dropped on it
Bright lights are flashing and I hear faint voices
I want my mom and dad, the lights are fading now
My breaths are short and burn like a flame in my throat
The voices are gone and I am blind
Slowly I drift into a world where I no longer feel the pain
As much as I
life's reflective dance
eyes of awe-
Turns round, lays down,
She's tired, sighs; and then
I watch her nose sniff, kiss her tail.
Don't say you love me,
then walk away.
Don't tell me to stop caring,
Oh no not today.
Cause you don't know how I feel,
you don't even care,
that you were everything to me,
I hope one day you get burned,
I hope someone will drop you like you dropped me,
Oh yes someday the tables will be turned.
So don't say you love me,
than walk away.
No don't tell me stop caring,
oh not today.
"The Unknown One"
~~To the niece or nephew I will never know.~~
Bethany Adams ~ July 29, 2000
You wait for
you are fed
your bed is.
pull you out,
I'm staring outside my window,
while i moon is staring back at me,
and on that moon I wonder,
what does it really see,
Am I what I make me out to be,
sweet, funny, and kind,
or am I just covering up,
the hurt that grows in due time.
YOU CALLED ME BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT.....AND IN THAT INSTANT
THE DAM BROKE......AND THE WATER GUSHED THROUGH.
THESE TEARS I CRIED WERE NEITHER HAPPY NOR SAD
BUT SIMPLY THOSE OF A TOUCHED SOUL.
YOU CALLED ME BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT......AND THE SIMPLICITY OF "I LOVE YOU"
JUST COULDN'T EXPRESS HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME.
YOU CALLED ME BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT.....AND WHILE I STILL CAN'T SEE
BEAUTY WITHIN MYSELF,
NOW I TRULY BELIEVE YOU DO.
YOU CALLED ME BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT.....AND I FELT ALL OF THE BEAUTY
EMERGING FROM YOUR POWERFUL SOUL....AND SPREADING ITS LIGHT
INTO MY DARK AND UGLY WORLD.
YOU CALLED ME BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT.....AND IN THAT INSTANT
THE DAM BROKE......AND THE WATER GUSHED THROUGH....
AND YOU CAPTURED A PIECE OF MY SOUL.
THANK YOU, JUSTIN.
I LOVE YOU.
You felt my heart beat
I did not feel yours
You saw my life
I did not yours
You saw my heart breaking
I let yours go
We felt our pain together
My hand trembles like the branches of the tree outside
Uncontrollably it withers away into the same Earth from which the tree sprung
Slowly moving up my arm until it reaches my neck
Stops and It ponders
What are you looking at?
Iím tired of the questions
All I want is some peace and fucking quiet
It sure seems like itís nowhere to be found
I keep searching like the fool I am.
I have put my eyes away.
As it should be, with no tears to say.
Outside, my dreams shiver.
Wrapped only in their nakedness,
they die slowly like children in hunger.
Why do they whine so?
For they have always been distant,
like echoes lost in darkness.
Let them praise their solitude,
day after day. But let me go.
Touched by life no more.
she says, that she doesn't believe in god.
but sometimes i find her staring into space.
hoping for things to turn out for the best.
knowing that things just don't come to a rest
she feels my presence. when i'm gone.
she talks to walls that hope to answer her back.
but we all know that its all gone and ended
she says that someday. I'll regret this.
walking away from this. and facing nothing.
losing nothing but our love. what was never there before.
now that your gone the love has surfaced from the bottom.
you hardly talk to me anymore. you couldn't wait to leave
AS a child I would find myself
hiding in a dark spot
where nobody could find me
silent but self contained
somewhere deep down inside
I would yearn for somebody
to understand and realize
where I was coming from
mentally and spiritually.
self hatred for the things I would see and feel
yet often mistaken for inner peace
Angry at god
and always at me
I cannot control myself any longer
uncontrollably spinning into further obscurity
I realize my gift of self
what I make of it.
Talents lie within...the understanding of
self and others around me
nobody ever makes us feel any hurt
and to choose the path we need to find
may take a lifetime
but to love myself
And again I am who I am
I think the way I think
I write the way I perceive my own Images
so why the urgency to change the way I am
for somebody to accept me
or to break me...Never!!!!!!!!!
I will alas remember the day we met
I will remember the first time i saw you
you looked so cute and adorable to me.
I will always remember your sweet smile
your cute little eyes, looking at me
And if i see you again i will always remember you.
I thought our love will last, but i guess
it didn't Why do lovers have to end this way
and now we are only friends.
Just wanna let you know that no matter
what happens between our friendship
you can always count on me!!!
this poem is dedicated
to a very special person!!
Love is such a strong, strong word.
So strong it weighs us down.
Love is sometimes just a word or even just a sound.
Love to me is feelings, feelings I have for you.
How come I cannot show you them and prove my love is true?
I try so hard to keep them in and once you leave I wonder,
Will my feelings come out one day and will it be a blunder?
How much do u care for me?
This I do not know.
If you even care for me it sometimes doesn't show.
(inspired by someone you know)
by Jeremy Overturf
Light transforms night into the day
the same way that you around
takes my breath away
I forget all my problems, I forget all my struggles
everything's clear now
no more of life's puzzles
Maybe we'll hit it off, or it might not endure
but if we don't try
how can we know for sure?
I know it's too early, you've had your heart broken
But I think of you often
and the word's that we've spoken
So for now it will rest, but on some future day
things will work for the best
and we'll both be okay
WALKS IN THE PARK
we always go for walks in a park
that no one else seems to know about
it's always a beautiful, moonlit night even if it's day
even if it's rainy or freezing cold or not beautiful in any way
no one else seems to know about the park
because it's always just us two no matter the time of day
no matter how many people surround us we're alone anyways
the time we spend with each other seems not to have an end
even when it ends it goes on in my dreams, in my heart
we're always together even when we're not
even if it's just deep, down inside our souls
deep, down inside our hearts
we're always together even when we're apart no matter how far
we're always happy together even when we're mad at each other
I'll never stop giving my love never, ever
even if there's none left to give and my love refused to live
i still won't
We always go for walks in the park
even if we don't
I am the gift,
Bring not forth the pain that I seek,
Anger stole the heart away from my love,
Discontinued hate, reliven by my death,
A salvation of forgiveness that exists only in my dreams,
It's those tears that you didn't wipe clean,
And the way that you spoke to me with force,
It makes me cry,
My only wish is to have this the way it was before,
You held me with love, and not struck me with anger,
You tell me that you love me,
But I don't have the strength to say it back,
I used my strength to cry,
And fighting only makes my heart weaker,
I wish that I could run away,
To the place where life is perfect,
Where I know that I won't have to cry,
My broken heart seizes with mercy,
And a wish that I know will never come true,
It's unspoken to me, but I know for sure,
That life is deceiving and unfair,
The wind penetrates my soul,
Breaks every cell that makes me be,
The way that I am, and was and soon to be,
An eternity of darkness is like a life without love,
And a sleep, that is dreamless,
Unspoken to me, but I know that it is so,
A gift unable to be free,
You didn't care when I cried for you,
You didn't see how much you mean,
Forever is an eternity, surrounded by hate,
Dislodged into my life with love,
It's so hard to compare my love for you,
But I have no strength to say I love you.
A lump the size of a rock,
Lodged inside my throat,
With spikes, piercing poking,
Its there stuck,
It has no reason to be there,
Yet i feel it choking me,
My eyes fill up, the tears hot,
Burning my face, cleansing,
Releasing of anger and sadness,
But there is no reason to cry,
An ache moves across my body,
its not pain but its a dullness,
Moving slowly till it reaches its stop,
But this stop is so empty that it hurts,
Even the slightest presence makes it painful,
But the lump is still there,
still poking, still piercing,
And the tears are as hot as ever
He walks alone
Once proud, now broken
Broken with the shame he has wrought
Every time the trumpets cry, signaling battle
He is always first to kill
He raises his bloody blade again and again
Forget a life he once knew,
He raises his blood-stained blade
To gain a new life
One to be proud call one's own
'Tis true he gains through this new life
But what he loses he has yet to find
i am, sad eyes
that man knows.
someday you'll ache like me
then when that comes
i hope no one helps you along.
you think they want you
but i do too.
you want to be the one with the most fate
someday eat the most cake
and till then sit back
and let it all fall
i am, loud cries
that will hopefully
get me along.
You can pick a rose and it'll never wilt
Yet you look at the world with a face full of guilt
It grew from a stonewall that cracked in the war.
Blood spattered everywhere and hearts were all tore
I cannot imagine the world going 'round
Yet the pains of our dull lives have all got us down
Forbidden worlds execute your king
But he can be brought back with a diamond ring
His poison has touched you, yet no one is harmed
You win at the gamebat because of your charm
Your prize is the life you bare keeping it so
You'd rather be dead or on death row
You're granted the wish to die and dead you were then.
The angels came to get you for paradise gin.
But too heavy your soul was because of your sin.
God must have found out where you had been
The rose you picked has its revenge
It pushed you to the end and off the edge
It laughs and then withers cause your life is done
And because of it's envy, It's souls on the run
Sarah The Revengeful Rose
Our time together passes quickly
Fleeting moments of the whole
With every breath our lives are changing
For better we donít know
Our love is written in fairy tales
A love that seems so right
With every second cherished
The future could be bright
We are cast apart
By changes in our lives
The distance is enormous
How will our love survive
The story is familiar
The faces are just new
The ending though unknown
Is decided by us two
dew drops form? collect.
combine and coalesce
create a little river
spill from leaf and flower
dew drops sparkle?
with a silky glitter on leaf and bud?
spherical gleams on clean fresh greens
a single droplet glimmers
where water dries, a droplet dies
in starkly glowing glory
it twinkles in the dawn
then it flickers, then it's gone
Not this feeling again
Please make it go away
I hate living in fear
I wish everything would stay the same
The crazy mood swings
Make me feel depressed
Can't take it anymore
Is it some kind of test
The more i think about it
The more i begin to cry
Don't want this bother in my way
It numbs my mind, why
I don't need any sympathy
I'm just confused
Why was I the chosen one
Being blessed with such a gift
Not being able to handle such things
Still waiting for some kind of uplift
philosophy is the name of the game, everything sounds the same . when I am, existing, when I am no longer of importance
i am what you say this game is childish to me
chosen to be known as an MC
but not, for i am , me that's all you can expect that's all you'll get
What do you want? Play by the rules? Be your puppet?
end game start a new. What...
no start overs, get out of jail free
not this time, different rules
play by the old get treated like it.
you love this game old or new
wish I was you. but i'm not
yo game is weak
i see beneath the skin to find you hate this game
like i do. but you're not me.
you're you and i'm me. and I don't want to play anymore.
fall is change of course, metaphorically
summer is us together by the sea
winter is alone, normal reality
but spring, by your name, will always mean love to me
Someday is coming soon
awarded me this day in June
when summer thoughts again may flow
as they did three years ago
no more rain of which to sing
let summer drought the pain of spring
together drown in blissful rays
and pay no heed to numbered days
it would be impossible for me to explain in words exactly what I feel for you Words can not hold the emotion I may have a bad day but I can count on you to whisk it all away You are my angel I guess What I'm trying to say is I Love You
IN DEDICATION OF MY DAD WHO DIED FROM CANCER IN NOVEMBER 1999
I LOVE YOU DADDY!!
DADDY I MISS YOU SO
THOUGH WHEN YOU WERE HERE
I LET MY MOUTH RUN AS THOUGH
YOU DIDN'T HAVE A TEAR OR FEELING AT ALL
THEN THAT DAY WHEN I GOT THE NEWS
I REMEMBERED THAT YOU WERE MY ALL
I GOT SO SCARED
BUT I DIDN'T SHOW IT
CAUSE I WAS SCARED I MIGHT BLOW IT
THEN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE FINE BUT...
THINGS TOOK A TURN FOR THE WORST..
FIRST IT HAPPENED
A BIG BURST OF LIFE
JUST AS THEY SAID YOU WOULD HAVE
THE UP SLIPPED FARTHER AWAY INTO A COMA
LIKE THEY SAID WOULD HAPPEN
THEN ALL THE FAMILY CAME TO SEE YOU AND WEEP
ALL I COULD SEE WAS YOU SLIPPING FROM ME
AND THEN IT HAPPENED...
WE WERE ALL ASLEEP THEN..
THAT LAST BREATH
IT IS A KILLER TO THINK ABOUT IT NOW
IT CUTS RIGHT THROUGH MY HEART
TO THINK THAT YOU ARE GONE
AND WHEN NEVER BEFORE HAVE I EVER LET MY FEELINGS SHOW
BUT NOW THEY FLOW LIKE NO END
BUT NOW I AM SLOWLY GETTING ON WITH WITH MY LIFE
JUST LIKE YOU WOULD WANT
BUT I STILL FEEL THE PAIN LIKE WHEN I THINK OF YOU
AND WHEN I THINK OF WHO IS SUPPOSED
TO WALK ARM AND ARM WITH ME AND SHED A TEAR WHEN I GET MARRIED
OR WHO IS SUPPOSED TO SCARE AWAY ALL THE JERKS FOR ME
BUT I KNOW THAT WHEN I DIE YOU WILL BE WAITIN FOR ME WITH ARMS WIDE OPEN!
By Michael D. Hinojo
Music of her covering the wishes of sharing delights
Makes me want you more when the peaches of kisses you send ripen me up
Wait, the energy is for you, to give it makes me crazy for one last look
Driven cheerful and civility of being close
Starved and becoming old
With the tragedy of senility without you
Be said "I bare the scar to be unfortunate not to see a glimpse"
Mystery of having nothing without you
In my heart sheds me the love of secrecy
For the raindrops you bring in my sight
Copyrighted summer 2000 by International Library of Poetry
hearts beating in the night,
children crying with fright,
windows open with cold air,
trying to find hope anywhere,
With every growing fear,
their is no family to appear,
as if lying dead,
in a unfamiliar bed,
living with the hate,
thinking inside of a terrible fate,
as i hear a shot,
their comes a unclear thought,
the pain i can not bear,
as my lonely heart tear,
as i watch other people living with ease,
i think is god trying to tease,
hoping death to come,
wishing to see where the light is from,
thinking of the pain i feel,
i know my heart can not heal
Not Just Scratches
She did it once, she did it again. The first time was that darn cat, or so i was told that. The second time was the blade. That made me squirm. She said it didn't hurt, and that it wasn't deep,
a little alarm in my head went beeeeeeeeeeep!
I had a problem, or at least she did. What was I to do? Tell the counselor what I was afraid to?
Nowhere to turn, nowhere to run,
I've seen it before, but it was a different name.
Will she go all the way? Will it be too late?
So many questions to answer.
What if she tries to go for the pill? I don't think she will.
I never thought that she would cut it...or do anything of the sort, but how well do we really know our friends?
finding my way
by the moonlit night
gripping too tight
foggy and gentle
my mind is afloat
what is this thing
i'm trying to fight
Never say I love you
If you really don't care
©Never talk about feelings
If they aren't really there
©Never hold my hand
If you are going to break my heart
©Never say you are going to
If you don't plan to start
©Never look into my eyes
If all you do is lie
©Never say hello
If you really mean good bye
©If you really mean forever
Then say you will try
©Never say forever
Cause forever makes me cry
Lazy days, hot summer nights, stars in the skies above
Constellations, anticipation - this is my definition of love.
Meeting you, I'll never forget the day you came into my life.
You opened the door to dreams and more - and cut through my heart like a knife.
Whenever I see you I go weak at the knees, I drown in your amazing eyes.
And when you're not here, I'm filled with fear - you are my paradise.
My heart beats faster, I can't stand still; why do you do this to me?
I'm in a state, I cannot think straight - do you think we are meant to be?
What is it about the way you smile and the way you hold me tight?
Each kiss in the dark an electric spark, I think of you all night.
So forget the days, forget the nights and forget the stars above.
Forget illusions - draw one conclusion:
YOU ARE MY DEFINITION OF LOVE.
Happiness is a place in life that is bright and friendly.
Happiness is a place in life where people skip and play.
It's a place where everyone loves each other.
It's a place where nothing goes wrong.
This is a place that I don't know where it's at.
This is a place that I don't know anybody who's ever been there.
This is a place that hates me.
All Your Lies
Jessica Jeanene Sweat
The fact isn't engraved on stone but I'm sure that from now on
I'll be alone.
You called one last time to say goodbye and a lonely tear drop fell
From my brown eyes.
At night,I don't find sleep,sleep finds me but your memory won't let me be.
Everything about you haunts me night and day,no matter where I go
Or what I do,I can't get away.
Your touch,your smile,they all come back when no one is around
So I reminisce for a while.
I remember the way you used to hold me,but all your gentle ways
Have left me cold and lonely.
I really don't know what to do,I just can't get over not having you.
You promised that your love would always be true and you called one last time
To say goodbye as a lonely tear drop fell from my brown eyes;
I never could get used to all your lies.
You think you have finally stopped.
But the urge is still there.
It will always be with you.
You say this will be the last.
But it never was.
Maybe one day you could live a normal life.
That is the struggle we the suffers have.
We only want to be normal.
A kiss, a kiss is a brief moment, yet everlasting,
Each touch slipping away, never lasting
Long enough to remember
But never fading away from mind;
A lie, a lie to the lips of perfect paradise,
A fleeting feeling, unless a kiss twice
Will leave the intention
Of bliss finally received.
A kiss, a kiss is quite a happy revolution
And a sometimes happy solution
To a clash between two
Unhappy at their own doing.
I sit in darkness surrounded by light.
I can feel the heat of fires ablaze all about,
With tongues of flame leaping playfully skyward,
And tendrils of smoke drifting upwards,
Intertwining as they become one on their heavenly ascent.
I wish to be as the fire,
Ever moving, ever changing,
Ephemeral and ethereal,
Not merely alive but life itself,
Consumed by the very nature of my existence.
I wish to be as the smoke,
One with whole,
At once drifting aimlessly,
While at the same time surging upwards,
Devoid of any terrestrial bounds.
Instead, crushed under the weight of my fears,
Beset by guilt for the loss of what might have been,
And ensnared by these wretched mortal coils, I sink.
And as I scream the rich black soil fills my mouth,
Putting an end to this transient existence.
Presently I am devoured by the bowels of the earth.
in the city
Rose aka Arashi Ice
love is silver
we break up
Four Past Midnight
I wonder if everyone's mind,
bounces between time,
in and out of past, present and future like mine.
Do you also think like this?
wondering the whys and what-if's?
Riding emotional coasters again and again....
I try to maintain a level of positive,
not lingering in the depths of the negatives,
still breathing them both in deeply.
I sigh, laugh, cry and get mad
experience feelings in solids and plaids,
without sorting the colors or labeling them.
My mind's images of times gone by and times to come,
swirl through my heart, some escape through my tongue,
and my own ears are their only friend.
Purpose or madness? Useful or in spite?
Lessons for someone or my own guiding light?
In vain I tempt myself for the answers,
four past midnight.
Anthony Peter Mattera
Your dreams begin when youíre dead
Living a very solitary existence
Your reality is gone and you are trapped in eternal emptiness.
Then darkness falls.
You then hear manic laughter.
And you feel the coldness of the outside.
You become numb.
And no one knows who you are.
Then you slowly dig your own grave into reality.
A reality you loved,
Until it was taken away by the unknown.
my head is pulsating.
rattling with every step of passersby.
recede into security.
everything is twisted in this mental visualization.
concepts seem bigger than their size.
(A poem for Chloe)
Son of Tim
Possessed the voice of God
If there is such an It
Moved his mouth
And made men cry
And women weak
To the water from whence he came
Soaking voodoo through his skin
In the Big Muddy
Maybe he learned
The last lesson
Of the blues
Maybe his bargain
With the devil
Maybe dumb luck
Ate him blind
In the Mississippi
In the dark.
"DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Mom (Paula K. Jones)
Don't look at me
As you walk through that door
Don't look at me
I don't count any more
The closeness that we shared
so many years ago
Has quietly dissolved
As the last winter snow
I can no longer take the "pin-pricks"
That continually pierce my heart
So I'll pack and say farewell
And soon, from you, depart.
But one last thing to say
Before I turn to go.
I will always love you
This I hope you know.
An endless wall, lies in state.
Beyond the eye, so stands fate.
Gather your sons, while they sleep.
What nations sow, sons must reap.
People pass and touch each stone,
to hold its pain, with their own.
Jimmy, Paul, David, and John.
Stone after Stone, death
rolled on. -
Faces praying and singing amen
while having sex with Barbie and
Pounding the gospel of Dick and Jane,
Again and Again, pride into pain.
Men glitter; and died on Prime Time.
While children lived, high on
Wasting veins to feel without pain.
Blood to Blood, the finale refrain.
Why are you like this?
Why are you so mean?
Is it coz you don't
want to be seen?
Why do you threaten me?
Why do you pin up posters?
Is it coz you don't
want to mix with boasters?
Why don't you respect my friends?
Why do you try to offend?
Why do you enjoy making me cry?
Why dont you believe in me?
Why cant you see?
Is it coz i'm wrong or right?
Is it coz you want a fight?
Why do you start on me?
Why do you make me feel there's no key?
Is it coz your using me?
Tell me why you treat me bad
Tell me why you make me sad
Do you want to see me cry?
Do you really want to say goodbye?
BEGINNING AND END
I met you at a party that my parents threw one night,
You walked past me in math class and brought a brand new light,
Me and one of my mates sat near you one day,
And i still remember the first words you had the guts to say,
They didn't really mean much but i looked at my feet,
Just a very simple your the girl from down the street',
I knew right then and there we'd be mates until the end,
A few weeks went buy and you became my best friend,
If i needed someone to talk to i knew you'd always be there,
And when i got upset you always showed you cared,
You came out with me and Sarah to have a great night,
That was when me and you had our first fight,
I knew the reason i argued with you was because of her,
After that night i realized how very important you were,
You were a great mate and some one who was true,
But now that you have gone i realize i love you.
Look with fresh eyes
and judge with clear ear.
We all need to focus
on what we can hear.
Not words from a breath
or songs wrote in rhyme.
Just the whispering tongues
floating in time.
They chant, they chatter,
and echo in cries.
The trick is to capture
If they do stir
and spook you they shall.
Just sit back and listen
to eons of tail.
out of a deathless philosophy an elixir is born; while awake people go deep into there desires where the advance of despair witnesses the towers of betrayal; the day is in fragments, boredom is whole, questioning is resident; from night to day the acidic silence surrenders my muse, someone please send me a casket of doves and i will receive my freedom.
There was absolute pain,
consuming my heart
an anger that was carefully
tearing me apart.
I sat deep in thought
to sought a cure for my
Then it dawned on me
all I needed was a
- Ryan Sylvester -
Reflections across a different time
The other option
Whisper that eternal speed bump
It's echo chips the walls of the unknown
And as it breathes down your neck
You weep in the web of infinite crossroads
Lefts and Rights
Yes and No's
D - all of the above
Your dreams are the blurs that were
once hands that waved goodbye to you
as you left on the train of what if's.
THE FAT AND UGLY CAT
There was a fat cat.
He was very ugly too.
He looks just like you!!!
No longer can I sit back
No longer can I control this hatred
hatred for who i am
hatred for what you've made me be
I can't help wanting to die
Deny me that right will you?
Well, your disguise has been lifted by gifted lil' me
No longer will you intimidate me
No longer will I let you bring tears down my face
I can't allow that, I can't survive that, I won't
Don't get me wrong, Dad
I love you
but what your doing is wrong
and it ISN'T my fault
and I can no longer sit back
Tell me what; when days gone by
To whom do we turn
When all the friends are gone,
When all the stars are dim,
When all the sky is gray?
Engraved in a stone
marked with blood,
a pact that shall never be broken
a secret that shall never be told.
Brought to me by shallow shadows
and unforgiving hate
I cannot forgive you,
for unmasking my face, my soul.
I awaited my fate,
to love once again,
every slow breathe
bringing me closer.
with your knife in my back,
with a strange desire,
of taking away, what was truly mine.
Your clear cold eyez,
and your twisted ways,
leave me with the pain
that I feel today.
My one true love
buried in the snow covered ground,
all because, of your jealous rage.
You see me now, as a ragged doll
but you are responsible,
for my broken heart, and tattered soul.
I look at you know, with the same cold eyes,
yet my anger doesn't over power me,
and I will not kill (as you did)
but I will get revenge.
You ripped me apart
in so many ways,
now its my turn
now its my fun and games.
You got your joy,
of seeing me crushed.
You took away my heart,
you took away my soul,
you can have anything you want,
but my dignity will never belong to you.
To His New Girlfriend
Does he tell you how foolish I was to run back or how he never really loved me?
Does he tell you how he played me, used me, and spit me out?
Well, can you tell him how it never really mattered?
Can you tell him how I never really loved him either?
Can you tell him how he was just a roller coaster ride?
You get back on because it's fun, not because you love it.
You know it won't last forever, but you pretend it will because you like it so much.
Even when it's over you still ride it over and over till it doesn't thrill you anymore.
And even though when you leave you miss it, after a while the memories and the feelings you felt while you were on it start to fade away until the next roller coaster ride comes along.
I'm off to catch myself a dream that may never come true.
I'm off reliving my childhood that at the time seemed so wonderful and untainted.
I'm off living in my dreams that are the ultimate escape from reality.
Michelle Lee Garcia
Never knowing what to do, which way to turn
longing and hoping to succeed, my only yearn
Why not me, what's wrong with me?
I'm special, if only you could see
Questions fill my head and weigh my mind down
My eyes are closed, the answers not found
Discontented am I, knowing there's more
don't know where or what I am here for
Days turn to months, months turn to years
time passes quickly, my eyes fill with tears
Struggling to hold on and press forward,
while my heart aches and longs inward
Defeated and worn, my heart is torn
needing a new beginning, to be reborn
Taking a moment for a short rest
trying to regroup and ease the stress
where do you fit into
the automation industry
of human desire
does my desire for you
reveal an industry of love
in this business of
american will over your kind
you shine as a kind above
always above the truth imposed
as law that binds sockets sinews
to a finer example of humankind
i have nothing more to say
Am I Better?
Don't stop. Take it back and start again.
Feeling low? Come on show me peaceful pain.
So take a deep breath and count to ten.
Open your eyes - oxygen.
My way to make it better is my way to make it better.
Hide lies. Show us all alibis.
Hoodwinking is an art anyway.
Keep the faith where it belongs.
Once child. Now grown.
An innocent, you're not meant for this wicked world.
Happiness? You're not blessed with their forceful ways.
So take a deep breath and count to ten.
Open your eyes - oxygen.
My way to make it better is no way to make it better.
A few thoughts...
The sky cried this morning when you left
But I didn't.
The clouds comforted each other and began to sigh
But I didn't.
Trees swayed in the wind
But I didn't.
I am free again.
I am free again.
We're not here to win it all.
Nor have we lost anything.
Poems Copyright © Designated Authors
Page Copyright © AHApoetry.com 2000.
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