IN QUEST OF VALHALLA

                                  by

                            Ronald K. Burke

                     Both dreamed of owning a Jag ew R

                     as metal unit clacked on rails

                     Both dreamed of white picket fences

                     at each Station of the Cross

                     Both dreamed of life in the burbs

                     as carriage ceased to motate

                     Both departed in quest of Valhalla.

                     Both dreamed of Ottomatt's multi-courses

                     while he supported her she shinnied

                     upside of detritus depository

                     relishing the gastronomic orgy both

                     quaffed thunderbird leavings delight

                     fantasizing dancing nightclubs wads

                     of green mazuma moolah money fame

                     Both took turns dozing in trunk

                     of wrecked Jag ew R.

You turned my world upside down

accidentally.

I turned my world upside down

without shame.

And now it's time to return to regular life.

As soon as I figure out

how to make upside down right-side-up when it feels anything

but right.

When all I feel is down

FAILED

Patrick Thomas Evans

Can't understand.

Feel unwanted.

I know the truth, I think.

But truth is hollow in the face of the voices within.

They scream at me.

Not wanted.

Not needed.

Too much.

Failure.

Have I failed then?

Don't know.

My mind says no.

My heart says yes.

I want to do something.

Anything.

It will make it worse.

This doing nothing kills me.

Want an enemy to fight.

Want some way to help.

Can not.

Gave my word, my oath.

Failed.

Problems scratching and screaming to come out of my head. Explosions, implosions. Releasing anger into the nite. Breathe my life free the pain from within my heart. Die from the love of an insane child. Bleed from the hands of a torn soul.

Blood rushing, thrusting screaming through my veins. Anger, hate, betrayed. Female's anger from hormones of other types. Hate the smell of perfume in the middle of the nite. Need to feel safe but can't be touched without being burned. Get away from the light only to be thrown back into dark. HATING all that comes through my mind. Wanting to reach out and hurt but cannot find the one whom I hate SO MUCH. Need to know how to be free without becoming evil. In which I have already become.

Emotions needing to be expressed but cannot be of the views of others. No one understands and I don't care. Who wants to be completely known anyways. Hating not knowing the emotions of the other loved one. Needing to hear their voice but when heard only enrages me even more. Need to see, feel, know for myself. Not sick but who could make me better anyways? Who understands, who wants to. Hating being ALONE but can't be near anyone anyways. Please don't touch, don't breathe. Can't breathe, cant be. Need help no one here. WHO CARES? NoONe.

Jessica Sweet

%%%%

Lawrence Cardinal

%%%

Is it not but time, within the day

That shine’s in this love,

That comes our way.

  Not an hour or minute spent in fear,

Within your arms making it so clear.

 Sent from haven within a cry,

This long heart that never asks why.

   Within these tears that call thy name,

 Knowing this love that makes us change.

 Dreams of passion that set us free

   Within a love so tenderly,

 Flowers that bloomed   within these nights,

   The sound of love that feels so right.

 As a  Passionate  heart ,

that  comes to be

   Within my cry and my plea…

 By Clifford Wayne Duncan

BEAUTIFUL
C.J.H.

                       A GIRL WHO WAS BEAUTIFUL

                         BUT DOUBTED HERSELF

                      THOUGHT SHE WAS UGLIER

                        THAN EVERYONE ELSE

                 SHE FELT TRAPPED IN SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN

                        AND WANTED TO BE WANTED

                     BUT THE PAIN WOULDN'T GO AWAY

                         SHE KEPT BEING TAUNTED

                   ALL HER LIFE, SHE GAVE PPL HER HEART

                       BUT NO ONE SEEMED TO CARE

                     SHE TRIED TO MAKE A NEW START

                       A GIRL WHO WAS BEAUTIFUL

                         BUT DOUBTED HERSELF

                        WILL REALIZE ONE DAY

                          BEFORE ITS TOO LATE

                    THAT NO ONE WILL HAVE TO TELL HER

                         SHE REALLY IS BEAUTIFUL

    

SEE MY INSIDES

BY BLAKE LEWIS

 

Do you see what I conceal?

Should I Reveal?

What I hide...

Or keep it all inside!!

 

Will you still be my friend?

If I expose myself

Or just lie to me...

Until I die!!

 

I've changed since then

When we became friends

Issues killed me inside

Demons consumed my mind

They clutter all around

 

There is no return

Then my skin starts to burn!!

Damn it!! I gained another demon!!

I'm turning into a haven!!

Don't look at my wrist...

It'll just make me pissed!!

 

Just hang me!! Watch awhile...

Let me see you smile!!

Hate me...rape me!!

I cry out to God!!

Seeking on his decision...

 But in the harsh reality

Only created my own prison!!

 

I've exposed to much!!

Torture soul!!

Building more holes!!

Just another mind!!

Ready to hide!!

 

Now do you see what I conceal?

Take some time and realize

What I keep whats in my mind!!

As you watch me die inside!!

I got so much to say...

But not enough days!!

 

Let me ask again...

I revealed what I conceal

Are you still my friend...

Or just another lie!!

You see my soul that is gray...

Are you going to turn away!!

Listen to me,

This is a voice from tar,

Maybe you ask yourself,

Tar has voice?

Yes, tar says yes,

Due, when you look toward tar, you can see a light

yes, this is leader light

It causes, you say, this is light of the dark

When dark has mean

I know, and I want to tell you,

The time of grasping the mean of dark, is, when you live at tar

In fact, when you grasping the mean of dismal

When you lose your love,

yes, this is the time of dismal, and this is the time of tar

BUT,

As I said,

There is a leader light in dark,

That, it causes, you say : This is light of the dark

Believe me,

You will win !

I Thought I saw an angel

I thought I saw an angel last night...

She stood by my bed and smiled down at me

Her eyes glistened like still waters

And her gown rippled in winds that weren't there.

She smiled a smile so tender it warmed me inside

Her surly blonde hair surrounding her face

Then resting along her shoulders like the calm waves of an ocean

The cheeks of her face sparkled like dew drops

Being warmed by the morning sun.

I thought I saw an angel last night...

She kissed my forehead so tenderly

And chanted such beautiful words

That each one brought tears to my eyes

Soothing my soul in a way I had never known before.

She told me a story of long ago...

About a woman who had entered my life at a time

When I did not know what a person was or where they came from

Yet strangely enough, I sensed I knew this woman.

I thought I saw an angel last night...

And as she told me my story I wept

Not tears of sadness but tears filled

With everlasting joy and strength

Somehow I knew this woman was still by my side.

Holding my hand...wiping my tears

Making me giggle over something

I later on laughed and laughed about

With my husband...my friends...anyone.

I saw an angel last night; I just know I did

And she told me all about my mother

About her every kindness and all the warmth she felt

And how she still feels this way in heaven.

With each day that dawns a new feather grows

Her halo glowing brighter than the moon

And before the angel left me she said...

Your mom will see you soon.

A Little Softer

 Lauren Duke

Life could be could be so much easier. It could be a little softer. It could help out a little more. But who am I ? I'm only one, nothing but a speck that takes up a small fragment of time.

HOPELESS

There is no more rebellion,

everything is a fad.

Your clothes, my hair, our culture is sad.

Dictated by forces flowing out of box,

Selling personality for phrases,

things like, "this rocks."

And the hope that we have

becomes the hope that we had.

And the energy that kept us,

will soon quickly have left us.

In a rush to grow up, and once there grow back down.

With the scars and memories of hard lives and bad towns

Leaving frowns not smiles, and tears not hope.

We take a deep gulp of apathy and pray not choke.

But we will look back and try to rationalize the meaning,

Except there is none, we lost it, and with it, our breathing.

DEPRESSION
RHIAN SANTINI

 

     THERE IS SO MUCH WITH MY LIFE I WOULD LIKE TO DO,BUT EVERY TIME I TRY TO STEP UP,I CANT MOVE.

     I'M DEEP IN A HOLE AND I CAN'T GET UP.I TRY SO HARD AND IT'S JUST TO TOUGH.

     PEOPLE TALK TO ME EVERYDAY,BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE A GHOST.

      NOBODY EVER TALKS WHEN I NEED THEM THE MOST.

     I TRY TO STAY FOCUST,AND KEEP MYSELF ON TRACK.I MUCH LONGER CAN I BEAR THIS HEART ATTACK?

     EVERYWHERE I LOOK I SEE NOTHING BUT GLOOM.I ALWAYS FIND MYSELF SITTING ALONE IN A DARK ROOM.

     PEOPLE SAY THEY HERE ME,BUT THEY REALY DON'T LISTEN.

     THEY ACT LIKE THEY KNOW, BUT IT'S THE MAIN POINT THEIR MISSING.

      ALL I SEE IS DARKNESS,AND I'M ALL ALONE.bUT ALL THE LIGHTS ARE ON,AND EVERYONE IS HOME.

     THE KNIFE'S CUTTING ME DEEPER,AND I CAN'T PULL IT OUT.

     NOONE HEARS ME, EVEN WHEN I SCREAM AND SHOUT.

      I'M STANDING CLOSE TO THE EDGE,AND I FEEL THE END IS NEAR.

      HOW CAN I GO ON,LIVING MY LIFE IN FEAR.

      WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THIS PAIN GO AWAY?

      I TRY SO HARD TO FIGHT IT OFF EVERYDAY.

      I KNOW IT'S NOT THE ANSWER TO TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT.

      NOT EVERYONE IS STRONG ENOUGH TO JUST STICK IT OUT.

 

    

I don't know what happen that day

The day everything just slipped away

I didn't think about it, I didn't think it would hurt

Just one or two simple slits as I fall to the floor

I let the tears slip from my cheek, I didn't care anymore

Pain unraveled my soul with no way out

I knew it would come to this, I had no doubt

I believe so many people damned me to hell

I never thought of how you'd feel after I fell

The blood poured from my wounded wrists

I thanked everyone who could have prevented this

With my last few breaths I murmured your name

And how you thought all this was a game

Promise me you will not lie

When you tell them why it had to come to this, why I had to die

 %%%

%%%

WHAT A BLESSED DAY!

HOW OUR GOD GRANTS US A BEAUTIFUL AND BLESSED DAY UPON THE EARTH EACH DAY.

THE TREES CANNOT RESPOND, NEITHER CAN THE GRASS, NOR THE DIRT SAY THANK YOU

GOD, BUT HOW ALL OF GOD'S PEOPLE THAT HAVE A GOOD AND PERFECT SPEECH, OPEN

OUR MOUTHS AND SAY, "OH MY LORD, THANK YOU FOR THIS IS YOUR DAY, THANK YOU

LORD, "WHAT A BLESSED DAY."

HEAR THE CHIRPING BIRDS, THE SOUND OF THE WIND, THE CARS DRIVE BY AGAIN AND

AGAIN. EVERY DAY JEHOVAH JIREH IS TO BE HIGHLY PRAISED, FOR ALL OF HIS

CREATION IS MADE IN A VERY SPECIAL WAY. KNEELING BEFORE HIS PRESENCE IS A

SWEET AND HUMBLE WAY, KNOWING THAT THIS IS PERFECT FOR A BLESSED AND WHAT

A BLESSED DAY.

CRIES TO OUR MAJESTY AND ACKNOWLEDGE WHO WE ARE BECAUSE OF HIM IS A THOUGHT

FOR THE DAY FOR YOUR PASTOR TO KNOW. HE LOVES OUR GOD, YOU LOVE OUR GOD, WE

LOVE OUR GOD OH WHAT A BLESSED DAY. WE ARE NEARING TO THE END FOR THE TIME

IS ALMOST AT HAND. HEAR OUR FATHER'S HEAVENLY VOICE SAYING MY CHILD YOU ARE

IN MY HANDS. I HEARD HIM, I HEARD HIM, I HEARD HIM SPEAK TO ME. MY GOD, MY

HEAVENLY FATHER YOU ARE A BLESSING TO ME. OH! WHAT A BLESSED DAY!

I GRANT YOU ALL A VERY GOOD DAY AND BE READY TO MEET OUR GOD OH THIS IS

GOING TO BE A BLESSING FOR YOU. REMEMBER, WHAT A BLESSED DAY!

       

REFLECTION

Carol Kellison

I sit in the shadow of the person I once was;

Loving, full of life.

Now an empty shell, withered

broken, dispirited.

A rueful, insensate fiend;

insecure of my own self worth.

Starving for affection;

terrified to take the chance.

I stare into the mirror, hoping

to find a glimpse

of the person I left behind.

I stare into the mirror

I see the image I've become

I see a perfect reflection

of you.

Listen.

by Taylor Q

I've worked with these dirty little rodents for years and years

every day the stories

every day

I've worked with these dirty little rodents

I've listened to the stories

I have listened

silence

I've worked with these beautiful little children for years and years

every day the stories

every day

I've worked with these beautiful children

I've listened to the stories

I have listened

listen

shhhhhh

listen

Train´s stations:

I  travel on my own

I  share love with stars

but, their  shadows can´t sing like birds and dreams.

Trains stations blow inside my soul

 while, I believe in fantasy and gold.

Roads feel strong

when trains run over the world

then, Children and forms

draw mountains and snow.

Trains stations blow inside my soul

just like words dance at home.

Trains stations find me alone

I follow them in the name of God.

Warmth

by Katherine Johnson

If I close my eyes,

The pain will go away and be replaced

By memory and fantasy.

I take a breath,

And the fragrant scent of summer fills my heart.

I can’t feel the cold anymore,

In my mind the hot sun bathes me.

It burns away all my pain

And evaporates my anger.

The chill of winter disappears,

And is replaced by the glorious warmth of summer.

I don’t feel the cold anymore.

Will i get stronger

will i remember the history

how much longer

Till i get victory

how much more time

do i have to spend

trying to flee

will people see a sign

in me or ignore

and push me threw that door

not everything is fine

will it heal or ever go away

will my secrets be revealed

or locked up always sealed

people wondering why

when i'm gone hope all unfolds

that's when i leave

please don't cry

but...

will my life story be told

or is it just anther suicide

lisa goodness

WHEN THE GRASS IS  NO LONGER GREEN
megan h

The trash decorates the street and sidewalks with steel gates and wire fences. that intimidate distracting clean vision. on even sunny days. clanging to protect tenants from bad. outside influences while locking in the  good. the ones who try to help us. little girls pick up babies instead of lilies and daisies. while there boyfriends pick up rocks, bats, knives, sticks and guns. suddenly do they pick up their babies. maybe their babies are to heavy to hold like jobs.

PRIDE

by William Jones

I have pride,

I’m filled with pride.

My pride and me.

The times me and my wife would fight and she locked her self away I had pride,

And stayed away from her,

When I should have hugged her.

When the love faded from her eyes I had pride and said nothing.

When I found out that she loved another man I had pride,

I gave her a hard time about it when I should have showed my love for her but I had pride.

When I found out she was pregnant by another man I had pride and left.

I lost my family but I have pride.

I lost a lifetime with my daughter but I have pride.

I lost my mind! But have pride but I have pride!

So now it is just my pride and me alone in a room.

RAIN

Andria Craig

 

This rain is beating on my head,

Dripping on my conscience,

I feel the rain becoming thicker,

Building a deepening river.

 

I can feel it soaking in,

I am soaked in cold rain,

With a dark cloud over my head,

I long for the warmth of truth. 

 

The stinging rain causes biting pain,

My aching soul bleeding out, 

There is no shelter from this rain,

Truth is the only way out.

%%%

         

%%%

Journey

Just below my eyelid, a lonely tear drop lies

I try to dry it with my mind, but nature holds the prize

It travels down my chin, leaves a trail for all to see

I try again to dry it, but it keeps roaming free.

It moves on past my lips, it passes my collar by

I wipe it off with all my might, but somehow it won't die

Beneath my shirt it's creeping, and finally comes to rest

It makes itself right at home, in the center of my chest

I reach down quickly for it, in hopes that I can save

A piece of what I'm hoping , is a tiny salty grave

But there it's pulse still beating, there's no more tear to see

It died and went to heaven, but now it's part of me

I start to see no matter, what I try to do

For in that lonely tear drop lives, The memory of you

Standing on the Outside

Standing on the outside peering

Into the open window

Actually leering

And wanting/knowing that I should go

Inside and bask in the warmth

Of the hearth's glow

But I'm not welcomed in or am I?

I have felt so bad, so low, so long

My heart has been so cold, so long, so long

I had better not go

Inside to bask in the warmth of the hearth's glow

It's odd but I know that once I had been

Invited in but somehow I still felt I did not

Belong but I did or some thought so

But I lost my way so so long ago

So now I peer/leer into this open window

And wonder should I go in and warm myself and bask in the hearth's glow

Or should I just go   

So sad the day

So sad the day when only one of us is here

So sad to call and receive no answer

To search among the emotions of a mind

To bend and pick up happy fragments with which to paint an English summer day

So particular that blue sky of England so special as are you this day

Will there be a place inside that has been shared by both of us?

A fortress defence against the catastrophe of loneliness

Where sadness is banished and the prism shows its colours.

Show me if you can a road that will take us from today ‘til then

A road that will leave one of us to stand alone yet look upon tomorrow as today

without sorrow in the way.

Will a heart of unquenched fires burn and wait for tears

that journey crevices of fear

while in their eyes people show all their discomfort

I am so sorry, we’re so sorry; at least it was quick, 

To be prodded and provoked at every turn

By sight of things that were of your hand

Each time to replay the memory for good or bad.

I’m not sure that; I can stand.

PHOENIX    

  carrie shoemaker 
   

"Goodbye"

To breathe your breath would that be fair

I gasp for dreams, to carry me there

I danced the dance as daughters do

to see them shredded, by deaths shrew

 

I watched her grow,unholy steed

and thread her web to plant her seed

was not enough to steal the sparkle from your eyes

as you fought not knowing fate to be your demise

 

I miss you more than dawns do light

I saw the sadness of the warriors flight

I held the hand of death for you

But no longer could I trap the shrew

 

And as the bitter winter ends

I think of all the springs, that bring amends

I kissed your forehead, cold as stone

And now I walk into the sunrise, alone.

                                IN THE NIGHT

                              -Brian Messerly-

           If I could pluck a brilliant Star, I'd pin it in your hair

        I know the beauty of it's light, would make you look quite fair

          If I could hold the Crescent Moon, 'till we sat upon the edge

        I'd tell the Moon, "just sail away", while my True Love I pledge

        We'd travel down the Milky Way, and pass the Dipper too

        Venus and Mars would wink at us, and say "How do you do"

        Then the Clouds would drift on by and gently send a spray

            Of tiny little rain drops that dance along the way

          The the Moon would slowly tip and gently let us down

         Before we could say a word, out feet would touch the ground

           The Sea would softly roll, and gently caress the shore

         We would stand upon the bluff, and whisper our love ever more

          All through our life we'll cherish, the Heavenly Canopy

          The Moon, the Stars and Clouds, also The Milky Way

        Oh! What beauty we can behold, if we only take time to see

           The Handiwork of God, that's given to us so free  

Deep Inside*

Tonight a silent tear ran down my cheek

You tried to help but the pain was far to deep

Look into my eyes filled with pain

All this pain that will never be able to be explained

It hurts so bad

You will never understand

You try and you try

But you can never break through

Don't feel bad everyone tries

But it'll always stay deep inside

You walked away and gave me a kiss

If you only knew how bad I wanted

Just to grab you and never leet you go,

To tell you why I cry,

Why I hold all these feelings deep inside!

My Tears

My tears come from the past to haunt me, they like to be remembered as a struggle once gone through.

My tears are full of hatred, love, blessings, and surrender.

My tears are sneaky and embarrassing, they flow heavy and are accompanied by red eyes and various hand movements.

I cry because I can't figure out what is wrong,I cry because I have been done wrong, I cry because I onced loved you,I cry because I have made it through, I cry because I am blessed and I know it, and crying is a way to show it.

My tears are not meant to hurt me they are here to heal me;

once they are gone my eyes will be open and clearly in thought I will see all that was meant to be.

Bullet

A bullet that is piercing through my heart

that was shot with the intentions of tearing us apart

and bullet that was stunning

swift and cunning

that is able to take my whole

body heart and soul

and tear them all in pieces so small

that it caused me to fall

and hit so hard that it felt

as like my heart just melt

into nothing more then a pile os ash’s

bruises and gash’s

When the bullet hit

and left me with no choice but to submit

I was reduced to the lowest I have been

and felt as if within

myself I had nothing left to live for

and didn’t want to be here no more

because without the person who with the finger

who pulled the trigger

there is no reason to live on no more

and I wish I could go to sleep for

ever and ever

for there will never

be enough time given to me to heal

from all this pain that I feel

If this one little bullet could do all this to me

then how cold I ever think of going on to see

what the future holds

and all that still remains untold.

For in order to live you must have a breathe

for without that all that remains is death

and if I can no longer breath

then how can I ever expect this bullet to leave.

For its all I ever knew to be true

for I have and still do love you.

%%%

HOW FRIENDS LET YOU DOWN

                               Jessica Trevino

                      You may think you have a true friend until you find out other wise they turn there back on you in a flash the only way to tell if your friends are true is to do something and see if they stick by you my friends i once had just threw me away in a flash no hurt in there eyes like it was as easy as eating a pie they don't know how much i hurt or how much i wonder why one little mistake and they said good-bye

 TEARS

                    When I'm all alone the pain wants out.

                    Don't like to be alone.

                    So much to feel, so much to remember.

                    So many people but still alone.

                    Feel tears on my face and it is here, the pain, shows

                    my fears.

                    Alone means silence.

                    Alone means solitude.

                    Silence hurts my ears.

                    Silence kills my soul.

                    The darkness is so quiet. I don't want to feel pain

                    when i'm alone.

         

 

Guy

 There once was a boy named Guy

 Who'd lie and lie and lie

 once he got caught

 had to pay the cost

 the penalty was to die

i figure now, i should shut-up

  go back to my room and cry again

scream in agony of the confusion again

  be ignored, and pushed away in fear again

maybe my stupid niave feelings will leave me

  maybe i'll stop bothering you

maybe i'll stop asking dumb questions

  maybe i'll hit reality and stop dreaming my idiot dreams

for that's all i am to most, maybe you too,

   right? stupid and niave me?

asking idiot questions, dreaming stupid things

   not able to bear reality above all things

sometimes, i hope you hate me

  because i'm not worth any of your time

sometimes, i hope you love me

  because i need every moment of time you can spare for me

i'll leave you alone now.........

  i'll go and cry in my bed

and watch my tears fall

  thinking of you the whole time

Leah Santan

%%%

 

Autumn is here

Trees are going bare

Colours of gold

Slowly unfold

Everywhere,

Leaves are falling

As nature comes a calling.

Birds are flocking

Atop balding branches

In their usual stances,

Squawking

All around

Rustling sound

As leaves on air glide

Upon the ground

They slide

Kind Mr Wind

Leads merry dances

Here and there

Wherever it goes.

 

Cecilia Leong

%%%

I see you standing there.

Soft lines make up your delicately structured face

And messy brown hair shadows your amazing eyes.

Not to tall, not to short, just right.

I feel trapped within your presence.

Unable to move, just stare in awe.

Then I see a smile light up on your face.

You are looking my way

And you smile

Is the smile for me?

I feel I am soaring,

Then I see her.

You were smiling for her

I feel my soaring wings are broken,

And I begin to fall.

I fall deeper and deeper into despair and self-pity.

Can’t you see me falling?

I thought I had felt the worst just by not being with you.

Now she stands in the way

And the pain is greater than I ever thought possible.

To reach for something and grasp it,

is much easier than letting it go.

My heart filled up with happiness,

and began to overflow.

Even though I'm well aware now,

that the end is coming quick.

All I do is hold on tighter,

Trying hard not to lose my grip.

The clock continues counting down,

it seems we're nearly there.

Did it have to hurt this deep to learn,

life really isn't fair?

All the time I held on to it,

safely in my hand.

I was breaking a promise to myself,

I grew more attached than I planned.

We're getting even closer now,

despite all efforts to hold on.

Before I get a chance to catch it,

what once filled my hand is gone.

Emptiness is now consuming me,

because I let it all slip away.

I hope that you'll come back to me,

but only when you're ready to stay.

Jessica Dru Rose

Fading 
Kelleen Shadow

Your almost invisible now  I can almost forget every last freckle on your face. The last image I have of you, your sitting behind me at a stoplight. Sun visor over your eyes, protecting yourself so much like a disguise.

Why are you scared? Why do you hide? You were the one who left me long ago.

But you are finally starting to Fade

You are finally starting to Fade

A well loved part of myself died. But be frightened no longer it's not you who instigates my actions anymore. Every day I live with me just as myself and I deal with being all alone. I'm alright I'm just fine

SMILE FOR THE WORLD

Jessica Matschke

I smile for the world

and tell them I’m okay

no one sees the pain I hide

each and everyday

I smile for the world

take everything in stride

no one sees the tears I cry

each and every night

I smile for the world

laugh away the pain

inside I cry

on my eyes a stain

I smile for the world

never let them know

how much it hurts inside

every time I cry

I smile for the world

They'll never see my tears

I'll hide all my fears

I'll be strong for them

be the one they trust

and never let them know

MY OUT, MY MASK

By Charrelle

Everyday I walk

I walk with my head held high

    But there's one catch

                         there are tears in my eyes

Everyday I smile

I smile with a smirk on my face

    But there's just one catch

                              there are tears in my eyes

Everyday I am here

I am here just beaming at the world

    But there's just on catch

                             there are tears in my eyes

People ask me if I'm ok

I'M FINE!!-- I say

People ask me if I need their help

I'M FINE!!-- I say

People ask me if I am sure of myself

I'M FINE!!-- I say, I'm fine

But this word "fine" is just my out

 It's just my mask to defend myself against the world

So b/c I'm in denial my answer will forever be: I'M FINE!!, I am so fine.

Pretending

By: Josh McDowell

in my messy room is where my life has been, i gather my thoughts, and i pretend, that i  have a different life, somewhere far away, where everything is good, and nothing is grey, nobody messes with me and nobody cares, about how i act or what i wear, ive got a job and a place of my own, ive got a car, and everything is shown, i dont hide my feelings or act like a hermit, i go out everynight, i could get used to it, id love it if it were like that, but it wont be if i dont get my life on track, i gotta stay strong and do things right, not sit up and wonder everynight, about where im goin and where ive been, i just sit in my room, i sit and pretend....lonley nights are what i know, these are the times that i grow, both mentally and as a man, my thoughts are scattered, through the land, in places i havent been and places i'll go, ive gotta get there someday, so i can grow, i need to get out of this cruddy place, go somewhere else where noone knows my face, start a new life and !

 make new friends, i love the ones ive got, but i still pretend, i make believe that im the greatest, nobody can touch me, cuz im the latest, the hottest item, the best of trends, but, i still have a lack of friends, my people skills are horrible, to this very day, my perfect world, is now turning grey, everything is starting all over again, going back to the way it was before id pretend, nothing but bad, never doing right, what is my problem? why do i fight? why wont this cycle of heartache end? i guess i'll just have to sit and pretend

~A Darker Marsh~~~~~
Jenna L.

It keeps pulling me deeper with each day

I try, I kick, I pull but it wont let me away

I've been screaming for hours, no one can hear the sound

When I run away they don't even Realize i am not around.

It's eating away my soul till it swallows me whole.

Why do I fell this way i will neverunderstand

I just want some to hold my soft hand.

I cry everynight, I want someon to decease my fright.

All my thoughts deplimish and every weak Im on a punish

I wanna live life But my grips too tight on this shinny knife.

I want to end this depressions and all my addictions

But it keeps pulling me harsh, until it pulls me too far into a darker marsh.

%%%

 

LOVE CAN'T FIX EVERYTHING

by:Alyssa Ferlo

She bites her lip

In an attempt to hold it in.

But tears flood down her face

As she turns and faces him.

She looks down at the floor.

She can't look him in the eye.

She's been dreading the day

When they'd have to say good-bye.

He takes a step closer.

She almost turns away.

She can't stop thinking

Of the price she has to pay.

She finally looks up.

He wraps his arms around her.

She clings to him

And the emotions he stirs.

He loves her

Like she loves him.

But she's made some mistakes.

Now it's the end.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too," he replied.

"But love can't fix everything," he said,

Looking her in the eye.

"Farewell for now," he said

Giving her one last hug.

"But I'm addicted to you!"

You're like my drug,"

"Drugs are bad," he explained

Walking away.

She watched him go

Wishing he'd stay.

She walks on home

Locks the door to her room.

Letting her tears fall

And drowning in her own doom.

%%%

%%%% Carly
               

%%%

WHAT I'M NOT

I'm glad I'm not President,

Too much stress.

I'm glad I'm not a Waiter,

I don't know how to dress.

I'm glad I'm not a Boxer,

I don't know how to fight.

I'm glad I'm not a Mattress Tester,

I cant sleep all night.

I'm glad I'm not a Tutor,

I don't get good grades.

I'm glad I'm not a Scientist,

I can't cure aids.

My life may be kind of crappy

But hey what do I care,

               I'm Happy