November 9, 2001
No blog yesterday because I was brooding. Like a hen hatching eggs I went off by myself to patiently wait for answers. I needed a title and outline for a new project and my mind was a total blank. Every time I thought of the job it was like opening one of those doors that faces another door that they have in adjoining rooms in a motel. And no matter how much I rattled the doorknob, the second door was securely locked. I began to wonder if I was not supposed to take on the job, if it was not the right thing for me to do, if I was still too busy healing the hole in my jaw to ask for such a gift.
The day was incredibly beautiful. All the wind-still, clear blue skies we expected in September and October piled up, rolled up and out into this one perfect day. The night had been cold so the blazing warmth of the sun was like the best of everything one could have. The smell of the piney air was an invitation to come outdoors. The peace of the long slow ocean swells was a reassuring as classical music.
With the tooth business, I had not worked in clay since cleaning out the garage on Halloween. I value the clay work, not so much for what I make, (clay does not let one be perfect) but because it gives me something to do while I enjoy being outdoors. For a multitude of reasons I felt justified in just taking the whole day for clay and myself when in fact I needed none.
I was still excited about the possibility of mixing the white raku clay with cinnamon flavored (and colored) stoneware to get a marbleized effect, so I began with that. Before long the sun, arching deep into the room was too warm to work in. I tried to close the garage door halfway, but I needed the light and the open feeling too much. I did not know if it would stay in that position or come crashing down on me or a pot. Then I got the idea of using that old bamboo screen I had nagged myself about not throwing out. With several attempts I was able to tie it to the raised door and had the perfect light. Somehow a breeze blowing through bamboo comes with a greater sweetness to the soul.
lifts the bamboo shade
When I got tired, and there was a sliver of shade outside, so I sat and scraped down the big empty pot that I want to make into a drum. Once I was coated with clay dust I continued sanding the cylinder jar (no one who sees as crookedly as I do should do slab work!). By now the pots I had started in the morning had set up enough to add more coils. The one which began in a basket was so perfect I was able to add the final coil as a lip. The other one was threatening to slump on one side, so I tied a girdle of a twisted plastic bag around it. I admit that this morning I am eager now to go out to see if that worked, if I can add the lip today.
Last night, as I lay in bed with two windows of stars from the north and east looking down on me, I began to get the ideas for the project. I debated whether to go to sleep or get up to work. I took a few notes and was instantly asleep. As I dreamed I could feel the work going on. I even thought as I watched the dream about waiting to take a flight in an airplane go by, "that is interesting but what does it have to do with the project?" As soon as I had enough sleep I woke and the ideas came flooding in. It was too hard to keep them all in my mind and the notepad by the bed was too small, so I got up and came downstairs.
While I took notes on the clipboard, Buddha sprawled on the arm of my chair, guarding us from the intruders only he could see through the black mirror window of the french door. We stayed that way until I looked up and saw that the world was forming itself out of the darkness – much in the same way inspiration had come to me.
the land separates
from the sky
November 7, 2001
What a difference a healthy body makes to a day! How good it felt to do my devotions. I admit that I had been less than faithful to the hours the past week but the recess now seems positive because it felt so good to be back in my place before the lighted candle and swirling incense.
I received this email yesterday:
"We are asking for everyone's assistance in getting this message circulated world wide ASAP so that all who choose will be able to participate on Nov. 11th at 11:00AM. in their own time zone. The intention ofWherever you are on Nov. 11th
11.11:11 is for a wave of vibration created through sound to travel across the planet. This vibrational wave will carry forth our highest intention for love, peace and balance for all that exists on our planet. Each person "wherever you are on Nov. 11th at 11:00 a.m. (11.11:11)" will participate in their own time zone, thus creating this magnificent wave of intentional sound for peace/balance.
The purpose is to have the vibration of SOUND go out around the Planet to break away the last pieces of the old vibration of discord and separation and to bring in more fully and activate more completely the frequencies for LOVE, PEACE AND BALANCE .
Jahn Starr was given a vision of a huge group of Angels over Afghanistan assisting everyone to be Love and Peace and then the same vision was repeated for the U.S. and then again for the whole world. Just as we lit candles for all those who gave their lives and their loved ones and
their service on Sept 11th, we are now being asked to bring in the vibration of sound, for it is the vibrations of sound (the Word) and Light (The Creator energies, the Christ energies), that will help to heal this Planet and all beings on her.
at 11:00AM(11-11-11) please ring a bell, sound sacred tones with your voice, use whatever sound/instrument you are guided to do. The important
thing is that we now need SOUND to help the restoration of BALANCE on the planet. This date is very important in world peace and carries a very high
Spiritual energy. If you are called to join us. please make your Sacred Tones on this day and help us get this information out by sharing it with all you know as soon as possible. Jahn Starr can be reached at email@example.com if you need more information."
As I read the message I thought "this is something positive. I feel I would like to add my energy to it.". Glancing to the right of my screen, an almost automatic reaction before I print out a huge reply, I noticed there was much more in the message. As I scrolled down over several (six I counted) ads offering everything from credit cards, investment advice and spiritual solace by telephone my inner voice was saying "no, no, no!". And yet, this morning when I was lying in bed thinking of today’s blog, this email came floating up to the top of my mind. Again the action called for seems a ‘positive’ thing to do and I plan to add myself to it. And I will strip off all those ads and send the message on to others.
And yet I have been wondering about the channeled information from Kryon indicating that 11:11 was the doorway which we have passed through and are now in 12:12. The idea that the effort this November clears up the last negative bits of our passage through the doorway makes sense. But these thoughts also make me wonder if we should on December 12th, at 12:00 noon make, not only a sacred sound, but send out intent with our voices with the breath of our hearts.
For one who loves cursing; so will curses come
if one gives not blessings; blessings will depart.
Therefore let blessing become like a garment;
soaking into the body like a fine oil of anointment.
Let thanksgiving be a cloak wrapped around
and a jeweled belt that is worn continually.
Let the eloquence of imagination
be a gift to the Divine on all occasions.
Immerse your self in the thought;
"I carry the Truth of God within me."
and become a walking shrine.
You will become the truth,
not only to the other persons you meet,
but most importantly, for yourself.
Yes, the Divine Presence or the Beloved
is only an idea formed in the mind of humans,
But once you have experienced this concept;
all of your ideas will be changed.
Whether there is an entity with a name,
it makes no difference to the possibility
of the existence of such a being.
November 6, 2001
About three o’clock yesterday afternoon I felt my ankles were no longer tied down in the well at the bottom of the hill of which I was trying to climb. Something, surely a part of me, which had flown, in an instant, returned to my left shoulder and I knew I was myself again. The tooth affair was over.
I did go to the dentist on Thursday. The painful tooth had several cracks around the old filling which he felt he could save by putting a crown on it. However, he also was wise enough to see the damage was deep and great and that his best intentions might fail, so he made a temporary crown. This involved repeated drilling, fitting, drilling, fitting and more shots of blessed relief. When he asked me to bite down once more so he could see where to file off more of the new crown I pretended to wiggle my jaw but kept my teeth carefully apart so it would look as if the bite was perfect. He was too smart and caught on to my act. The good laugh we all had was as helpful as getting out of the chair sooner would have been.
As the numbness wore off my cheek was filled with pain. He had warned me that the extensive drilling would need Advil for the rest of the day but I slowly realized that the pains were also coming from cold air. By evening I was rooting through the medicine cabinet for something stronger. In August I had cleaned out my side and thrown out all the expired prescriptions. Werner had more stuff but his too were out-of-date and he only had Vicoden which I cannot tolerate. In the kitchen I finally found something even older which I took all night every four hours. By morning it was clear the tooth had to go. In six minutes I was in and out of the dentist’s office with a new hole in my face.
Home again I gathered around me the three crones of illness reading along with the ice pack. I began with Danielle Steel, for when I am taking painkillers and need stories built on a vocabulary of 600 words. On Saturday I moved on to England via Rosamond Pilcher’ Shell Seekers, and Coming Home. If I had not had my recovery yesterday I would have advanced on to the well-worn copies of all of Judith Krantz’s books. My mind is now the color and consistency of bubblegum but I am rested and eager for new thoughts, new ideas and challenges and there is a pile up of mail to take care of first.
November 1, 2001 - All Soul's Day
And I have a date with the dentist! It might as well be the Grime Reaper for the way I feel. All day yesterday I was in 'the last day of my life' mode. That's why I cleaned out the garage. I even paid bills and wrote letters to my kids. Am that scared of dentist's visits. I additionally frighten myself by remembering that the famous haiku poet Raymond Roseliep had his last stroke in the dentist's chair. Whatever. I leave you with last night's dream:
I was having a terrific argument with the male editor of a newspaper. We had written many letters back and forth containing vast amounts of adrenalin when we decided to finally meet face to face and settle ‘things’ for once and for all.
It was interesting to meet his staff and to see how he ran his operation. His office was smaller and grubbier than I had expected but the persons around him seemed like really enlightened persons and it now seemed that our argument had only served to establish a connection between us. After many talks there was still one point of disagreement so in order to better understand what we were arguing about I got instructions on how to find this place and decided to go there (a physical place in a forest [for rest]) myself.
I felt I had many other things to do, people to meet, a soup to make and a class to attend, but I also felt it was important that I make the trip because I really did want to settle our differences. I parked my car in a parking lot at the edge of a forest and walked in following the instructions he had given me. The trees were old and so overgrown so that it was fairly dark but I had enough light so I could see where I was going. I was glad, however, to come to a clearing where the sun was pouring down on a warm, bright scene. I was kept from entering the clearing because of a field stone wall about waist high. There was a well-made but rustic wooden gate with the sign "private". I stopped to observe what there was to see. In the clearing was a huge L-shaped swimming pool with several persons laughing and playing in the water. It looked quite idyllic to find such a modern swimming pool so deep in the forest. As I watched the people I began to wonder how I could get myself invited to join them. I was not so interested in swimming in their pool but would have liked to sit by it to get warm from the sun. Just that quickly they were out of the pool and on to their horses which came racing toward me.
One person opened the gate in a way that let me know that I if I tried to enter I would be run over by the thundering horses. I stepped back and let them pass. They yelled at me as they roared by but their words were lost in the sound of the horses’ hooves. The pool was now quiet and empty and lovely in a whole new way. Feeling I could not observe more here I turned and retraced my steps.
Back at the editor’s office I told him of my experience and he seemed greatly pleased with me – much more that I felt he should. He was laughing and joking and telling all his co-workers of my experience. I did not understand what he saw in all of this but was glad our disagreements seemed to be done away with. We agreed to celebrate the occasion with a dinner and I said that I would bring the soup I had been wanting to make. When I asked what time I should come I was surprised when he said, "At 2:00 am."
I woke up and the clock pointed to 2:00 am. The full moon was shining in my window using the thin fog to fill the world with a soft light.
Continue reading at:
October 31 - 21, 2001
October 20 - 11, 2001
October 1 - 10, 2001
September 21 - 30, 2001
September 11 - 20, 2001
September 1 - 10, 2001
August 22 - 31, 2001
August 11 - 21, 2001
August 9 - 1, 2001
July 31 - 26, 2001
July 25 - 18, 2001
July 17 - 11, 2001
July 10 - 4, 2001